We Can Hold Each Other Up, Instead of Using Canes
by Dracorex Hogwartsia
Summary: Bella goes to Forks to visit her dad, Charlie for the summer, where she meets a sweet and strong Edward. Their summer is filled with romance, but what will happen when the summer ends, and Bella has to go back to Phoenix? R&R please! ExB. All human!
1. Understatements

**Eep. My editor (and cousin) Grace's computer is acting up, so she's read the first chapter, but she can't edit it or anything... So, here it is, please enjoy... And forgive any mistakes I made. The next chapter will hopefully be better. I'm doing a playlist that helps me with my story.... For the date scene: dare4distance by nevershoutnever. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, all are owned by Stephenie Meyer!**

Chapter One: Understatements

Summertime. My mom made me visit my dad, Charlie for the summer. Oh, joy. I think I would enjoy it more if Charlie didn't actually live in the monotonous, small town of Forks, Washington. It was a painfully small place, with no malls (not that I was particularly upset about that), no real book stores (now _that_ really killed me), and similarly monotonous people who had no interesting qualities that would cause me to want to be their friend in the first place. The worst part? Hardly no sun. I love the sun, I loved the warmth of it, the colors it shone onto the earth, I absolutely adored the sun. So, it's not really very hard to guess why I look forward to summertime; unless of course, I was spending that time in Forks.

My mother, Renée had told me how deeply Charlie missed me lately, and said she wouldn't take no for an answer for me to stay home. My mom was usually fairly easy to sway from any decisions she made, but when I tried to convince her to let me stay with her, in Phoenix, she wouldn't budge an inch.

"You and your father really need to spend more quality time together," she had told me. "You are going to college in two more years, and Lord knows how often we will see each other after you're grown up and married..." She began tearing up. I hugged her and told her of course I would visit Charlie for the summer, even though I'd honestly rather be doing just about anything else this summer. But, in the end, I truly did hate seeing my mother cry, so I agreed. However, Charlie thought I was here because I couldn't stand to be away from him anymore. That's what my mom told him.

My mom and Charlie were high school sweethearts, but they got a divorce a few years later when I was only about a year old, and my mom left with me. She married Phil, my new step-dad only a couple of years ago, and they were madly in love. It wasn't like Phil wasn't cool, it just bothered me a little about how young he was, but I wouldn't complain if my mom really loved him that much. My mom was like that, eccentric, funny, and wild. She had a new pastime every time I saw her, which was every day. She was would go from skiing to pottery to cooking to hiking and then any other activity she hadn't considered yet. She was completely reckless, and I loved her with all my heart.

I was the responsible one though, my mother's constant mood swings caused me to need to prepare for them, forcing me to grow up early and take care of her when she needed it, after all--she hadn't always had Phil. I learned a lot from her activities though, I had learned to cook fairly well and she also taught me how to love whatever I did during the moment, and to not regret things.

I made a decision to stay out of Charlie's house as often as possible. Since Charlie was the Police Chief of Forks, I didn't really have much to do during the day, while he was working. The first couple of days, I spend them unsuccessfully looking for bookstores or libraries. Finding nothing particularly special, I decided to just stick with my old books I had fortunately decided to pack before leaving Arizona. Today, I was going to La Push, the beach on the Quileute Reservation--hoping for just a few rays of sunshine--to read.

I grabbed the keys to the old Chevy truck Charlie had borrowed from his friend Billy Black while I was visiting, so I wouldn't need to walk everywhere I went. I was grateful for that. I snatched up _Pride and Prejudice_ and walked out the door into the misty fog and walked to the truck. It was a rusted reddish-orange color, and though it was actually made in the early 50's, but surprisingly, it was absolutely perfect for me. I jammed the key in the ignition, on a hurry to get to the beach, and jumped slightly at the sound of the engine igniting into life; well, nothing's perfect, I guess.

The drive to La Push was smooth and uneventful. When I pulled into the parking lot, I looked out to notice how crowded the beach was. Only in Forks would a beach be crowded when it's lightly raining. I grabbed my towel and sunscreen (hey, I don't want to take my chances if the sun does decide to appear. Besides, better safe than sorry) and half ran to the sand, stumbling a couple times over my feet. I stripped off my large sundress and kicked off my flip-flops, sprinting into the ocean. The water felt so nice, the chill of it surprisingly made the water more soothing than I was expecting. I was floating on my back with my eyes closed peacefully when a football smacked into the side of my head.

"What the--" I began to say, but suddenly the spot where the ball made contact with my face began to sting, and I bit my lip in an effort to hold back my tears. Stupid Forks. Stupid idiot boys who couldn't watch where they are throwing a football.

"I am so sorry," a voice called. I looked toward the sound to see three young men swimming toward me quickly. When the first boy lifted his head out of the water, my heart couldn't help but pound in my chest. _He was perfect_. "I didn't see you there," he continued, now that he didn't need to shout across the waves, "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you around here before."

I blushed, I just couldn't believe that this masterpiece was talking to me. He had bronze hair (it was obvious, even though his hair was nearly black from the saltwater), emerald green eyes (which danced as if he had just heard the most amazing news), and a wide grin (which made my heartbeat quicken). He looked like his picture belonged in the Hall of Fame for the "Best Looking People in the History of the World." Okay, maybe that was overdoing it, but he was beautiful.

I remembered he was waiting for me to reply, I blushed deeper, "Uh, actually I'm visiting my dad for the summer from Arizona, then I'm gonna head back home."

"Oh," he frowned slightly. "Well, we should make use of the time, then. My name is Edward." He held his hand out over the water, the small water droplets glistened against his skin with the chance rays of sun. I reached for his and took it, then gasped. The contact between our skin felt as if an electric current had just passed between the two of us. I quickly recovered and mumbled "Bella," and looked down at the green waves shyly, letting my hand drop to my side.

"That's a beautiful name, Bella," I glanced up to him, and was caught in his gaze, he looked back into my eyes and smiled crookedly. My heart was hammering unevenly inside of me. "I really am sorry about the football thing, I hope your head is alright." He shrugged with the football in his hand apologetically.

"It's fine, thank you, Edward," I stammered.

He chuckled and told me he had to get back to his friends, and with that, he began swimming away. I sighed as I watched him go, thinking about how utterly gorgeous he was, and waded slowly back toward the beach. Once I rose out of the water, I went to my spot and spread a towel out before laying on my back and opening _Pride and Prejudice_.

The afternoon crept by while I read, sometimes taking a quick break to see if Edward was still here. He was. Sometimes, I even caught him looking towards my general direction, my heart swelled at the thought of that, but I quickly composed myself, knowing that someone like _that_ would never be looking for someone like _me_.

The sky began clearing up in the late afternoon, and the sun began to shine brilliantly over the beach. _This is what I came here for_. I sighed in relief to myself and enjoyed the view before returning to my book. When I glanced at my phone to check the time, and I noticed how late it was beginning to be, and saw the sun gently settling into the horizon. I smiled to myself.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a smooth voice commented. I turned my head slowly, and there he was standing behind me. Edward smiled crookedly. I nodded, the sun _was_ beautiful, but not hardly anywhere near as impressive as this man behind me.

"You can sit with me if you'd like," I scooted my body over a little to make room for him. He complied and sat next to me. The close proximity between our bodies sent a shiver down my spine.

"Are you chilly?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh, no. I'm not cold at all, thank you though," my body seemed to have a mind of its own, my arms slowly got goose bumps, as did my legs, and I couldn't help but shiver again. He noticed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Like before, an electric current surged from his body to mine and I couldn't help but smile. Had I really thought that _everyone_ in Forks was monotonous? This certainly wasn't the case with Edward.

We sat in silence for about ten minutes, watching to sun set, side by side. I was extremely relaxed, and he seemed to be, too. I was beginning to get tired of the quiet, I was dying to hear the music of his voice again. _What should I talk to him about? Maybe I could talk about the weather. That's simple enough, right? Oh wait, that would be stupid because we just talked a little about the sunset. Come on, Bella. There has got to be something cool you can say to him. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind... But what if the first thing is completely stupid? And he leaves?_

As if pitying me, he spoke before I could even decide what question to ask. "So, what is Arizona like?" He asked the perfect question. I love Arizona, remember?

"Arizona is so beautiful and open. Everything about it is amazing. I love the hot air. It's not too humid, but it's not too terribly dry, either. Nature is at its absolute best there. Nothing can compare to Phoenix." I couldn't help but stop there, I didn't want to sound like a broken record that keeps rambling forever with no sign of stopping.

"I've never been. Maybe I should come down and visit you sometime," he winked at me, which set my heart off to a gallop. "Even though Forks is very beautiful, sometimes I wonder what life would be like if there was more space..." he trailed off looking thoughtfully toward the now-purple sky. I couldn't help but giggle a tiny bit. That was exactly how I felt about Forks, too.

I tried to come up with something else to talk to him about, I didn't like our silence. "So, do you live here, in La Push?" He looked down at me and smiled.

"No, my parents and I rented a beach house for the summer. The rest of my family is back home with their friends. We were the only ones who were willing to come down here." Oh, he didn't live here. He was here for the summer, just like I was. How convenient... This might be the only time I would ever see him, but if God was _really_ gracing me with this creatures presence, I would cherish this day in my heart for a very long time.

I looked back to my phone. _Well, Charlie will be wanting me home soon, I'd better tell Edward goodnight. This dream was too beautiful to last, anyways._ "Edward, thanks for sitting here with me, it was nice, but I really need to go home. Charlie, I mean, my dad, will be wanting me home soon." I began to stand up, but he was quicker than I was and he began pulling me up along with him.

"When can I see you again?" his emerald eyes scorching down upon mine. Was he serious? He wanted to see _me_ again? Maybe today _wouldn't _have to be the last...

"Uh..." I couldn't think straight. The power of his stare was overwhelming and my brain was beginning to shut down against its own will.

"Maybe I could take you out for dinner?" he persisted, "When are you free?"

"Friday is good..." I whispered. I was afraid that if I spoke any louder, my voice would crack, which would not make a good impression on Edward to make him want to be around me again any time in the near future, or ever.

He smiled widely and then gave me his hand to help me walk to my truck. He chuckled a little under his breath when he saw my ancient truck, helped me in the cab, and then turned to walk to a shiny silver Volvo. Before driving off, he grabbed something from the seat and a few seconds ever, ran back to my truck and pressed something into my hand before turning back to his car with a small smile on his face. I realized the object in my hand was a torn piece of paper. I unraveled it to see a very neat note:

_Bella, Call me soon and I'll give you more details about the date.. Have a good rest of the evening. --Edward_.

There was a phone number written underneath. I looked up and waved to him, he smiled widely and waved back. I watched him drive away, and then after a few minutes, my brain began working enough to drive myself home, smiling to myself the whole way.

When I arrived home, I skipped inside to make dinner for Charlie, but he had already eaten pizza. Oops, I guess it's later than I thought it was... I grabbed a slice and went to the living room to look at the TV set, without really seeing it. The only image I saw in front of me was Edward. His perfect smile, his perfect eyes, watching me tenderly. I wanted to see him again, badly.

"Bella? Do you hear me?" Charlie called, breaking into my thought processes. I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. Had he really been talking to me? "You've been sitting there with the same goofy smile on your face for about twenty minutes, are you feeling alright?" he asked suspiciously.

"Sure, Dad," I replied, realizing how this must appear to him, I rarely watch TV, much less actually _smile_ while I'm in Forks... This was definitely a change. "I just had a good time at the beach..." _That_ was an understatement.

Charlie shrugged, evidently deciding it wasn't important enough for him to continue the cross-examination. I wanted to be out of the way of his glances, so I quickly kissed his forehead and went upstairs to my room.

My room was the exact same room I had had since I was born, the only real changes were changing the beds once I outgrew the crib, and adding a desk and old computer in the corner. I saw my cell phone exactly where I had it before I left for the beach, charging still. I picked it up and pressed the number in and pressed it to my ear.

"Hello?" a velvet voice answered. It was _his_ voice. I stopped breathing, in fear that I might breathe so loudly, I would embarrass myself in the process... "Hello? Well, if no one is there, I guess I'm hanging--"

"Edward? This is Bella... From the beach?" I realized that my voice picked up a little at the end, making it sound like a question, it was hard to believe that today was real.

"Oh," he chuckled. "Hello, Bella. I'm really glad you called. You aren't calling to cancel on me, are you? We're still on for Friday?" I glanced to my calendar. Today was Tuesday.

"Sure, I'd really like that. What were you wanting to do?"

"Now, now. That's not fair. It's a surprise of course! It's going to be a pretty casual date though, so you can wear whatever you'd like. But no, I won't tell you the activity."

I grimaced. Surprises weren't terribly high up on my list of things I enjoy enduring... "Okay, fine. What time and where should we meet?"

"How about 5 o'clock in the La Push beach parking lot? Then I can take you out in my car?"

"Alright, that sounds good." It was quiet for a while, both of us seemed to be waiting for the other to say something.

"Well, I'll see you Friday, I guess..." he said after a minute.

"5 o'clock, see you then," I smiled and hung up the phone.

--

--

Friday afternoon came very quickly. I already had my outfit chosen. I was wearing a royal blue blouse and my favorite black jeans, with my black sandals. I shuffled down the stairs and decided I would go to the backyard for a couple of hours before heading to La Push. I spread out my blanket and sat on it, letting the sunshine soak into my skin. I continued reading _Pride and Prejudice_. I was at the part when Jane gets sick and Elizabeth goes to the Bingley's house to be with her when I noticed it was 4:30 and closed my book.

I picked up my blanket, folded it, and walked back inside to brush my teeth again quickly and headed out to my truck.

Once again, the drive was quick and easy to La Push. I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes early, and sat in the truck, letting the air conditioner cool my skin. I closed my eyes and waited for the minutes to pass.

I jumped when someone knocked on the window, and opened my door. There stood Edward, looking very handsome in a teal button-down shirt and faded blue jeans. The color of his shirt went very well with his eyes, giving them a nice bluish tint to them. I smiled at him. He grinned back.

I got out of the car, and he handed me a sunflower. This was unexpected, I didn't even know sunflowers were capable of growing in this kind of weather... I took it from him and blushed. I loved sunflowers. Yellow was one of my favorite colors.

"You look beautiful, tonight. Blue looks very lovely on you." he said, appraising me.

"You do, too," I blushed deeper, I couldn't help but be honest with him, he really was beautiful tonight.

He opened my door for me when we got to his car, and then walked around to the drivers side and slid in and started the engine. He backed out of the lot and began driving. I didn't watch to see where though, I was too busy watching his face.

He asked me a lot of questions, about my parents and about Phil. He asked what kind of music I enjoyed and what my hobbies were. I asked similar questions, and learned that he loved poetry and also loved playing sports. He laughed when I remembered the football incident and rubbed my face where the ball had hit me. Luckily it didn't bruise.

Eventually, we pulled into an Italian restaurant. When we walked inside, I couldn't help but gasp. It looked like I _was_ underdressed. Everyone here was wearing beautiful dresses and suits. This was the kind of restaurant someone would propose in, not go to for a first date. And besides, I _knew_ the price range would be high, and too expensive for a high school student to be able to afford. I glanced at him, he was perfectly at ease. He was telling the host his reservation name, and the host nodded and lead us to a table with napkins that looked like it cost more than my entire outfit put together. I gulped.

A very pretty blonde waitress walked to our table, looking very elegant, and introduced herself. "My name is Katie, and I will be your server tonight. I will give you two a couple of minutes, and I will come back for your order. Can I start you our with a drink?" she asked Edward. It didn't escape my notice how she seemed to be introducing herself to him on a more intimate level than a waitress usually would, and she had glanced at my once so far.

Edward looked at me. "Bella?"

"Uh... I'll have a coke, please..."

The waitress turned back to Edward, smiling. "And you, sir?"

"I'll have an ice tea. Thank you." The waitress walked off, and Edward continued to watch me.

"Tell me more about your mother, Renée," Edward said curiously.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why did she send you here for the summer, but she didn't come herself?"

"Well, I think she wanted to spend some more time with Phil, and Charlie has been wanting to see me a lot lately, so I came here... I haven't seen Charlie since Christmas, and that was only for a few days. So I guess this is as good a time as any to visit him for a while. I really miss her though."

Edward studied me for a while. The waitress brought us our drinks and asked for our orders. I ordered some spaghetti, Edward ordered something that just sounded expensive by the sound of the name, which he said so quickly, I hardly caught it. After the waitress left, he looked back to me curiously.

"You're very interesting, Bella. Very... Different," he mused quietly. My eyes widened, I knew I was different. I didn't really fit in anywhere in Arizona, I had a few friends, but I was very shy and quiet... Edward seemed to notice the look on my face. "Oh, I don't mean in a bad way, Bella. You're different from girls that I'm used to, at my school... Your kindness, your wisdom, your beauty... You captivate my attention, and I've met you once before tonight."

I had butterflies in my stomach. No one had ever given me such praise before. I was absolutely speechless. We sat there, staring at each other until our food came. My spaghetti looked very simple and childish compared to his meal. It was many assorted noodles all combined in one plate, and it appeared to have two different sauces in it, too. The platter was very large, and it looked delicious.

I began twirling the spaghetti around my fork. The butterflies made me suddenly lose my appetite. Edward was already digging into his pasta, and noticing me having yet to eat some of my food, he paused from his meal. "Is everything alright? This is what you wanted, right? You wanted spaghetti, did you mean to order something else?" He began searching for a waitress to call her to the table for me.

"No, Edward. That's not it at all... I was just thinking... About things..." I immediately stuffed the roll of spaghetti into my mouth and began chewing. Now that the taste was on my tongue, I realized that I really _was_ hungry after all. I picked up another bite and continued eating. This restaurant really knew how to make Italian food.

Edward still hadn't gone back to his meal, he continued watching me, which made me uncomfortable again. I couldn't help but stare back and ignore my meal. It seemed like we did this a lot...

"What were you thinking about?" he asked.

I had to tell the truth. "You were complimenting me so much, and I'm not used to being noticed so... _much._ It was just different." I chuckled to myself, that was the word he had just used to describe me.

His brow furrowed and he leaned toward me and patted my hand gently. "You _are_ all those things I just said, and so much more. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

I looked back to my plate, trying to hide my embarrassment and praying that I wasn't blushing too harshly.

After we finished eating and Edward insisted on paying for everything, he had more than enough money, I assumed the date was over. I was beginning to get a little tired, I hadn't slept well last night due to anticipation for tonight. I yawned widely.

"You aren't already tired are you?" The car was dark inside, but I could see the outline of his face, his brow was furrowed.

"A little, but not too terribly. Why? Are we doing something else tonight, too?"

"No, no, no. I'm not telling you what's on the agenda tonight, remember?"

"Yes..." I sighed.

We eventually made it back to La Push Beach, and he helped me out of the car again. Before I could even begin walking back to my truck, Edward grabbed my arm and led me back out to the shore. I hadn't noticed he had a blanket tucked under his arm until we stopped in the sand just barely escaping the waves. In the white moonlight, Edward was impossibly more beautiful than in the daylight. The pale light caused his skin to appear a gorgeous, perfect, smooth white, which fit him very well; perfection was a quality about him that I was beginning to realize as a part of who he was.

My eyes were beginning to get more and more heavy as I watched the stars. The stars were like little glimpses into heaven, that's what my grandma used to tell me before she died. I thought about how short life was, and how I wanted, no, I needed to live mine to the absolute full. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crashing only inches away from the two of us. This moment was perfect, just like Edward.

"Bella?" someone shook me. Oh, no. Please tell me I didn't just dream of Edward. I squeezed my eyes tighter shut. "|Bella, listen. You need to wake up now. I'm so sorry I kept you out so late. I completely lost track of time. It's really late... I need to get you home." That voice was so perfect. I sighed and opened my eyes, surprised--and thankful--to still be on the beach. The night was still black.

"What time is it?" Charlie must be freaking out right now.

"It's about 11:30."

"Oh, crap. Charlie--"

"I already called him, he's just glad you're alright. Do you need me to drive you home? He said he really wants you back before midnight."

I was beginning to put things into perspective better. I realized I was leaning into Edward for support and as a shield from the suddenly brutal wind. There was a slight drizzle, but not enough to make it impossible to sit here. I straightened up and away from Edward, and stood up and stretched.

"No, I can drive myself home. Thank you, though."

He chuckled. "No problem, Bella. Tonight was really great. I had a lot of fun."

"I did, too," I smiled at him. "Thank you for dinner, it was delicious."

"Again, no problem, Bella." The way he said my name made me feel extremely at ease. I sighed again, and started walking back to my truck, keeping pace with Edward though, and trying to prolong tonight as much as possible. When we reached my truck, the wind suddenly picked up and the rain really started to pour. We both started laughing, relieved that the rain had waited for us.

He helped me into my truck and closed my door behind me. I smiled and waved to him again. I was about to pull out of my spot, but Edward knocked on my window. I rolled it down, forgetting about the rain, but when I remembered it, I realized Edward's body was blocking out the rain, so my interior wouldn't get drenched.

"I just wanted to say good night," his green eyes looked absolutely vibrant as they danced and sparkled. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, then turned and ran back to his car. With his body gone, the rain began to pour inside my truck, and I quickly rolled up my window.

I put my hand on my forehead where his lips had touched. I couldn't stop smiling as I drove home. I felt like the sun was only shining for me, even though it was raining harshly outside. Edward had helped change my perspective of Forks. Maybe I could like this town after all. Maybe things were going to be okay here. For the first time since arriving, Forks felt like home.

**Please review! I will read them all, and I can always use suggestions you have, and I will take any/all criticism into consideration! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Savior

**Uhh... This chapter is NOT edited either. I got really carried away, and I couldn't stop writing. This chapter took me not very long. The grocery scene is pretty random, but I had a lot of fun writing it, and I was cracking up like the whole time I was writing it... Plus: you get to enjoy Edward's (there really isn't another word for it...) amazing perfection. :) I hope you enjoy the second chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, all are owned by Stephenie Meyer!**

**Chapter Two**

I dreamed peacefully, that night. I was asleep during my dream, too. But instead of being alone in the dream, Edward held me while I slept, he guarded me as my protector... I was upset to wake up in the morning, it meant I was alone again.

I went downstairs to make myself breakfast. For about five minutes, I debated on what cereal to eat, Cheerios or Frosted Flakes? I decided to go with Cheerios, it was healthier than Frosted Flakes are anyway. For a few minutes, I wondered why the house was so quiet, then I remembered that Charlie had work. So I would have Saturday all to myself, and I couldn't really go anywhere, it was raining very hard.

I chose to go upstairs to my computer and check my email. The computer was extremely slow, and I got a little impatient, but I put on some music and sang along with it while I waited for my computer to boot up. When it finally did, I clicked on the internet icon and went to my yahoo account. I logged in and tapped my fingers to the beat of the music while I waited. I had two new emails, both from Renée, I sighed before reading.

One from last week, and one from two days ago.

The one from last week said: _Bella, why haven't you emailed me yet? I know it's been only a couple of days, but I'm surprised you haven't emailed me to talk about what's been going on... Well, I hope you're doing alright. Email me back soon, sweetheart. Love, Mom._

The email from the other day was a bit longer: _Bella, you still haven't emailed back. Is everything okay? You need to email me back or I will go crazy. Oh, I miss you so much. Have you made any friends that you can be with? I'd hate to imagine you there all by yourself in that old house... I know what you must be thinking... She sent me here, she is just torturing me... Well, I spaced out that Charlie wouldn't be around so much. I'm so sorry Bella. I really miss you. Phil says hello, too. I love you with all my heart. Tell me about everything you've been doing lately! Love you tons, Mom._

I smiled to myself and decided to reply before she could report my kidnapping.

_Hey Mom, Sorry it took so long to reply. You know the ancient computer that Dad put in this room, it's so slow, I lose my patience with it sometimes... Everything is going pretty smoothly, I guess. Charlie is being cool, when he's actually around... Yeah, I made a friend. We've hung out a couple times... I've been reading a lot, too. Not books from a library around here, the ones I brought with me. The stock here is pretty small. Just like the town. Haha. Tell Phil I said hey back. How are you doing? You must be celebrating with me not around. I miss you and love you, too. La Push beach is beautiful, whenever you visit again (if ever), you should go there. It's like a fairy tale. Much Love, Bella._

I cleared out all my junk mail, and was immediately bored. There wasn't really anything else to go except try to cook something. Evidently, Charlie didn't really go shopping much, there were only a few things that were possible to cook, and those were months past their expiration dates. I grabbed a jar from the cabinet that was labeled FOOD MONEY, and ran to my truck.

When I arrived at the supermarket, I found that it was very well stocked for such a small town. I walked up and down every aisle to make sure I didn't miss anything important. On the way to the check out, I was so wrapped up in what I was going to make for Charlie and I tonight (Chicken Alfredo), that I accidentally ran into someone's cart. I blushed and kept looking down.

"I'm really sorry." I mumbled to my feet, and then started walking again. The person grabbed my shoulder. _Oh no, please don't let them yell at me in front of everyone. _Wide-eyed, I turned to the person. A big, tall man was glaring at me relentlessly. _Yeah... He looks like a yeller._

"Are you _blind_, lady?" he said, his voice too loud for normal conversation.

"I'm so sorry, sir. I was thinking about the food I'm buying, and I just lost my concentration..." Tears began welling up in my eyes.

"Look, _girl. _I don't really care if you meant to or not. But, you broke my eggs. MY WIFE WAS EXPECTING _UN_BROKEN EGGS, AND I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD TO WALK ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE EGG SECTION!" he grabbed the eggs that I had, and threw his broken eggs at me, causing the eggs to pelt my skin, hair, and clothes. My tear ducts began overflowing, tears spilling down my face.

"I'm sorry..."

People were stopping to watch the scene. My face was burning.

"What's going on here?" a smooth voice asked, walking out from the crowd to my side. _Please let me be imagining that voice. Let it be _anyone_ but him._

Edward took my hand, pulling me into his chest, causing me to ruin his shirt with tears and egg yoke and shells.

"What gives you the right to yell at this girl?" he asked angrily of the man.

"She _broke_ my eggs," he spat back. Edward began laughing. This man was not exactly small, and I was completely terrified of him... While Edward held me, _laughing_. This moment seemed like a mockery of my dream last night.

"Look, _buddy_, you are overreacting about this situation, it was an honest mistake, and--" The big man grabbed Edward from me, causing me to fall to the ground because I was leaning on him for support, and grabbed a handful of his shirt and began shaking him.

"I don't CARE if it was a mistake or not! I don't CARE what should have happened. _She_ _is a_--" I don't know what he thought of me because before he could continue, Edward punched him straight in the face. There was a loud _crunch_ as the man's nose broke. It began pouring out blood. I was getting really nauseated. What is going on here? A grown man picking a fight with someone over broken eggs? I ran out of the store as quickly as I possibly could, abandoning the crowd, Edward, and my groceries. I slammed the door behind me once I was in my truck, and cried.

The rain was so heavy and so noisy, and I was crying so loud, that I didn't hear the sound of Edward knocking on my truck window, holding an umbrella. I opened my door, trying to tell him to go away, but he pulled me out of the car, and walked me back to his Volvo. I saw there were a lot of groceries in the back of his seat, _my_ groceries.

"Oh, Edward, you didn't need to pay for my groceries," I pulled out my wallet that had all the money from the jar. "How much do I owe you?" Edward put his hand over mine before I could pull out any bills, and shook his head. For the first time I looked up to his face. He was fuming.

"Edward, are you alright?" I asked timidly, not wanting to set him off.

"No, I'm not. I really feel like doing a whole lot worse than just breaking that man's nose. It's absurdly rude to yell at a lady in general, but over _eggs_? What kind of a man is he? I feel like ripping his throat out for raising his voice with you and breaking his arms off for throwing--" I couldn't help myself. I leaned across to his seat and gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

"Thank you for standing up for me," His face began to relax, and his fists loosened their grip on the steering wheel. He started his engine, and began driving.

"Where do you live? We need to get your groceries home..." I gave him the directions back to my house, and he followed them at ease.

We were silent until we pulled up in front of my house, and he began picking up the brown paper sacks to carry into the house. I unlocked the door for him and showed him the kitchen. We went back and forth from his car and to the kitchen to get the groceries in before they could get too wet. Right when I was about to head back up the stairs, one of my feet landed in a puddle, slipped backward a little to the edge of the stair, and then, trying to land my footing, I fell backward and into a mud puddle. That was gonna bruise. I started picking myself up and brushing off the butt of my jeans, when Edward ran out of the house to see if I was alright.

When he saw that I was, he began chuckling to himself. I don't really know why this made me so mad, after all he was the only friend I had in Forks, but this day seemed to just be dragging on.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, I really need to relax. Make yourself at home," I walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and let it relax my muscles, and then used my favorite strawberry shampoo, letting the scent fill my lungs as I massaged it into my scalp. I scrubbed off all the egg yoke and mud from my skin and out of my hair, thankful to get the stick off of me. After I was finished, I blow dried my hair until it was straight, got dressed, and brushed my teeth.

Edward was sitting in the living room, looking at my copy of _Pride and Prejudice_. When I walked in, he looked at me, with one eyebrow raised.

"Jane Austen fan?" he asked. I smiled and nodded. He didn't know this, but I had most of her collection, and I liked a lot of other classical authors like Edward (_I can't even get the guy out of my head for a few seconds, just to simply name off my favorite authors..._) Morgan Forster and Margaret Mitchell... Edward must have noticed my cheeks beginning to flush, but he didn't ask, he only continue to smile at me.

I stood up, and crossed into the kitchen, about to put all the groceries away, but it had already been done. Edward followed me in, I turned to him.

"You didn't need to put them away. You've already helped me enough today..." I felt as though there was a fire burning beneath the skin underneath my cheekbones.

"It's really not a problem at all Bella," he strode toward me, and touched my cheek with the back of his hand. I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, and my face must be crimson by now. "You're worth any trouble with anyone or anything. I'll be here whenever you need me." I smiled at him. He was a very good friend to me.

I threw my arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," I whispered.

"My pleasure, Bella," he chuckled.

I turned out of the hug, and began making dinner. "Can you stay for dinner?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yes, I'd love to," I could hear a smile in his voice. "Can I help you with anything?"

I shook my head. "No, you can sit wherever, you can watch TV if you want."

I began taking out the chicken, pasta, and vegetables. I put the chicken in a pan with some oil and let it sit. While I waited, I took out two pots, filled them with water and waited for them to boil. Once they did, I put the pasta in one, and broccoli in the other. I flipped the chicken over and then went to sit down next to Edward at the table.

"It smells delicious." he smiled a crooked smile that made my heart pound violently in my chest. I couldn't help but smile back at him widely. I stood up, my throat was suddenly very dry.

"Are you thirsty?" I asked him while I turned to the cabinet and pulled out two glasses.

"Sure, could I have a glass of water?" **(A/N: Hahaha. This really made me laugh. **_**Of course**_** Edward was thirsty. When he's a vampire, he's always thirsting for Bella's blood... No matter how satiated he is.)**

I poured us both water with ice, and put his glass in front of him. I sipped it slowly, the cool water slid down my throat and felt amazing, soothing my dehydration. I closed my eyes as I took a second, longer pull of water. Ahh! It was wonderful. Before I knew it, my water was completely gone. Edward pushed his cup toward me, laughing. I drank that quickly, too, then I refilled both glasses. Huh, it seemed that the excessive water outside wasn't enough for my body. I giggled quietly to myself at the thought.

The chicken was smelling ready, I went to check it. I flipped the chicken strips over again to check that they were well-cooked on both sides, then I pulled the chicken out onto a plate and cut them up into small cubes of chicken. The vegetables and pasta were ready, too. I poured the water from the pans, then poured all the food into a large pot, added the Alfredo sauce to it, and mixed everything together.

Edward came to stand at my side. He deeply inhaled the scent of the food and sighed. His stomach grumbled.

"Do you want to eat a little really quick?" I giggled, filling the wooden spoon with the meal, and held it out for him. He nodded and ate it from the spoon.

"That's delicious. I don't think I've ever had better Chicken Alfredo."

I smiled. "My mom taught me everything I know when it comes to the kitchen."

"I really don't know if I can wait for your father--"

Right on cue, Charlie walked through the door noisily. "Bella?" he called.

"I'm in the kitchen, Dad." I said back. He jogged in, smelling the Alfredo I guess, but when he caught sight of Edward, his eyes narrowed, then danced between Edward and I, taking note of how close we were. I immediately took a step a way, and continued stirring the pasta.

Edward walked up to Charlie and held out his hand. Charlie shook it apprehensively, as if he thought Edward had a deadly disease that was passed through a handshake.

"Hello, sir. My name is Edward. Bella invited me for dinner," Edward explained calmly.

"Oh, so you're the Edward that Bella went out with last night?" he said. Was it really only last night we had been on that date? It seemed so long ago...

"Yes, sir, I am," Edward beamed.

Charlie looked him up and down, as if expecting Edward to be carrying a gun. I laughed. "Dad, it's alright. He's just a friend," Even though I wish he were more... "I invited him for dinner. I made enough for all of us to eat." Charlie _hmph_ed and sat down at his seat. I noticed he hadn't taken off his gun, yet.

I walked to the cupboard and pulled down three plates and three new glasses. Charlie was interrogating Edward at the table, but I didn't pay much attention. I put generous helpings on each of the plates and poured milk into the glasses. I brought them back to the table and began to eat.

Edward and Charlie followed quickly, but still carried on their conversation between bites. I finished first, I wasn't really involved in the conversation, so I just hurried through so I could curl up on the couch and continue reading _Pride and Prejudice_. When I finished I took my plate and glass, washed them both quickly, and skipped into the living room to continue reading. I completely absorbed in my book. Mr. Darcy was at the cottage Elizabeth was staying in, and he was about to reveal his true feelings to her.

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." a soft voice whispered in my ear.

I jumped from the surprise of Edward's voice reading the line I was just about to read in my head. I turned my head to face him, and was surprised by how close his face was. He smelled amazing. It took all the strength in my body to not close the distance between the two of us and kiss him.

"It seems you are having the same reaction as Elizabeth," he joked. "Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, colored, doubted, and was silent." he recited, not needing the book that was clutched firmly in my hand.

"You just surprised me. I didn't know you were already finished eating... It was weird that you were reading the same line as I was at the same time, and I wasn't expecting it..." I stumbled over my words, trying to sound nonchalant, trying to pretend that my heart wasn't racing at the sound of the words _"I love you"_ escaping his perfect lips.

"Thank you for dinner, Bella. I really should be getting home. My parents are probably wondering where I am," I chuckled. He reached for my hand. I stared at it questioningly. "You don't have your truck, remember? We left it in the parking lot. Now come on."'

I took his outstretched hand and walked outside with him. He helped me into the car, then turned on his stereo. Quiet instrumental music filled the car, and we sat in silence, listening.

We pulled into the lot a few minutes later, and Edward parked next to my truck. I frowned when I noticed my keys still in the ignition... Well, it's not like anyone would we wanting to steal this old pile of tin anyway. It was pretty much worthless. I hopped in the truck, waved to Edward, and went back to the house.

My phone vibrated in my pocket just as I walked through my front door. A new text message. I opened my phone, but it was an unknown number.

_Hey Bella. It's Edward. Do you want to hang out with me tomorrow? It's cool if you don't want to, but I was thinking of going to this really cool meadow. You're welcome to come._

I pushed the reply button quickly. _Sure, Edward. I'd love to see it. When should we meet?_

A couple of minutes later, Edward texted back. _I can pick you up. Haha. How is noon?_

_Okay. See you then._

I snapped my phone shut then went to my room. I changed for bed and brushed my teeth, then ran to the living room to say goodnight to Charlie.

I kissed him on his forehead. "'Night Dad."

"Hey, Bells? Before you go to bed, I wanted to talk to you about something."

I turned back toward him. "What's up, Dad?"

"Well, I was just watching you and Edwin--"

"His name is Edward, Dad."

"Yes, uh... Edward. Well, I was watching the two of you during dinner..." He looked very uncomfortable. "I know this is summertime, and there is a lot of... _temptation_ that you feel at this age... And I want you to know that I will support whatever decisions you make in your life, but I'm begging you, if you do anything... _physical_ with that young man, _please _use protection. I don't want my daughter getting pregnant from a stranger she met over the summer..." I stared at him. Mortified. I have known Edward for what? A little bit less than a week, and Charlie was _already_ giving me the sex speech? I guess I could understand it better if he was actually my boyfriend for God's sakes, but I've known him for a few days! Both of our cheeks were hot.

I shook my head. "Dad, I'm not planning on having sex with Edward. The two of us are just friends, remember? Besides... I'm not looking for a commitment this summer, just a way to survive it," I laughed dryly. This was so embarrassing. "Well... I'm going to bed, now I guess." I turned back to the staircase and sprinted to my room, and closed the door behind me. I laid down in my bed, and thought of one word, one face, one soul. _Edward_.

I drifted off to sleep in seconds. Today had been a _very_ long day.

****

**Please review! I will read them all, and I can always use suggestions you have, and I will take any/all criticism into consideration! Thanks for reading!**


	3. The Meadow

**Aghhhhh. I can't wait for my editors. It's getting frustrating. Grace's computer still isn't working.... So she can't help me with editing. I finished this _last night_ but I couldn't keep it to myself for too much longer!!!!**

**Disclaimer: Edward- "Elyse, the two of us should be together forever..."**

**Me- "Oh, Edward. We belong together..."**

**Edward- "Forever." ............ And then I woke up. I don't own Twilight or any of the characters... Stephenie Meyer does. But I wouldn't mind if Edward decided to change that status....**

**"'My lover has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my lover's and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.' 'You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, majestic as troops with banners..." -- Song of Songs 6:2-4**

Chapter Three: The Meadow

Morning came very quickly. I woke up semi-early and took a quick shower. The hot water streamed down my body, and the warmth helped to wake me up. After stepping out of the shower, I felt the butterflies beginning to attack my insides. _What was I going to wear?!_ I raced to blow dry my hair and brush my teeth, then tore off to my room.

I ripped open my closet. Should I wear jeans or shorts? Long-sleeved shirt, T-shirt, or just a tank top? What _color_ should I wear? Red would be too slutty. Grey would be boring. Blue would be repetitive. I was eventually standing in my room, wearing only jeans and staring at a lime green t-shirt and a yellow one.

Before I could actually decide which to wear, a quiet knock came from downstairs. I slipped on whichever one was in my left hand, and ran down the stairs to the door. I answered it, and there he stood, looking like a dream-come-true wearing a yellow shirt and black jeans. He was breath taking. Oh, my breath really was being taken from me. I inhaled deeply then grabbed my rain jacket, just in case, and walked out the door with him.

"Nice shirt." He laughed. I glanced down at my shirt. I was wearing almost the same shade of yellow as he was. I blushed then laughed, too. He looks a lot better than I did. I sighed. I can't compare.

"So," I broke out of my awkward silence. "Where is this meadow? I'm excited to see it."

He smiled and opened my door for me. "You'll see, Bella."

He drove fairly quickly, but he drove with such precision that I couldn't help but feel safe in his presence. After about 20 minutes of small talk, he pulled off to a dirt road and parked his car at the edge of the woods. He turned off the car and took out a compass. He studied it for a few seconds, and then began walking--ignoring the trail that I was heading toward--into the forest toward the West.

I followed him, frowning at the trees. They were sure to embarrass me, because evidently they thought I couldn't do so on my own. _Great. I'm going to trip over some roots, and fall and break my arm, then we are going to get lost in the rush to get to the hospital, and Edward will never want to be around me ever again because he will know that I could endanger _his_ life, too._ I grimaced.

Edward was walking very fast, but when he realized how far behind I was, he stopped, waited for me, then took my hand to better keep pace with me.

"It's a very nice day today. Hardly any rain." he commented.

"Yeah, the only way it could be better is if the sun were actually out."

He smiled. "Yes, that's true. The sun would make today more perfect."

"_More _perfect?" I raised an eyebrow. "So does that mean today is already perfect for you?"

"Of course," he chuckled as though I were missing the obvious. "Of _course_ today is perfect, I'm spending the day with you."

I blushed, but didn't say anything else. He was getting the situation backwards. Today was perfect because _I_ was with _him_.

Silence ruled the time we spent walking. After about 30 minutes of walking in a perfectly straight line, there was a subtle thinning of trees.

"Is that it?" I pointed to the spot.

"Yes, we're almost there." he was also excited.

I wrenched my hand free from his and sprinted toward the clearing. I fell once on the way there, but I didn't let it bother me, I just kept running. Edward sensed my excitement and easily ran past me, laughing... He only got past me because I fell though, if I hadn't fallen, I would've dominated that race.

He stopped at the edge of the clearing, held out his hand for me, and we walked through the last of the trees into the meadow.

It was absolutely beautiful. Wildflowers were scattered in small patches throughout the entire meadow. Honeybees chased each other around, and stopped down to gently kiss the flowers before carrying the nectar back to wherever their hives were. The trees cast off the perfect amount of shade so it wasn't too overwhelming. The sun peaked out from the clouds for only a few seconds, but I was able to see the change for a brief moment. The sunshine made the colors become so vibrant, it was hard to really fathom the beauty. We stood there, at the edge of the meadow for a few minutes, staring into the most beautiful scenery imaginable. I closed my eyes to listen after a while. I heard birds chirping in the trees. I faintly heard running water; a river must be nearby. I opened my eyes and turned to Edward.

"It's beautiful."

He stroked my cheek with his free hand and walked to the middle of the meadow and sat in a patch of grass. I put my jacket on the ground so my clothes wouldn't get wet, and sat next to him. I sighed, looking and listening to the meadow.

We both stretched backwards and laid on our backs, gazing out of the opening in the trees to the sky. The clouds were a silvery color, just barely able to emanate a soft mist to the ground.

I closed my eyes again to absorb the perfect moment. It _was_ absolutely perfect now. Even the sun was determined to be my friend today. I smiled as I felt warmth on my cheek. I opened my eyes, expecting to see the sun making another reappearance to play with the colors around me, but instead, I saw Edward. He was stroking my cheek lightly again, so lightly in fact, I assumed it was the sun giving me the warmth.

"I think _you're_ beautiful." he whispered. I smiled at him. My heart was inflating, feeling like it was about to burst from pleasure.

He wrapped his arm underneath my neck and I held his free hand. _Life is good._

"Bella? Are you asleep?" Edward's voice came after several minutes.

I opened my eyes and turned my body to face him. "No."

"I wanted to tell you something..." he flushed lightly.

I smiled at him. The light pink tone of his skin only added to his beauty.

"I know I've only known you for a few days... But I've never really felt this... _free_ before. I really,_ really_ like you."

"I like you, too, Edward." When I said it, my heart began pumping blood and also happiness throughout my body. He watched my face for a few minutes and leaned closer to my face. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips press gently into mine. I pulled away quickly. I wasn't ready to close my eyes yet.

We stared at each other, the look in his eyes made me smile, and I'm sure the look in mine made him do the same. The mist swirled around us. We didn't care or notice. I was content being in his arms, and having him in mine. He began playing with my hair while he watched me, twisting the strands between his fingers.

We didn't need to talk. Our eyes spoke exactly how our hearts were feeling. We laid in the tall grass for hours, not moving, not talking, only watching.

-

-

From that day in the meadow, Edward and I were inseparable during the day. At night, we talked on the phone for hours, revealing all our secrets and sharing stories from our childhood. Every day I felt myself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

Eventually, the summer had to come to an end, though. Soon, too soon, our final day together came. Of course we spent it together, and we went to our favorite spot. The meadow.

We walked together, hand in hand the entire way, only pausing when I stumbled over the rough terrain. We walked through the clearing and laid back down in the spots that were practically impressed into the ground from the numerous times we were in the same spots.

"I love you, Bella. With every component of my being, I truly love you." His voice ached with the passion from this statement.

"I love you, too," my eyes began to tear. "I don't want to leave tomorrow."

He kissed the tears away from my cheeks. "I don't want that either. But for right now, it's only you and me. I love you. I love your heart. There is nothing about you that I _don't _love." He stroked my hair away from my face, and brushed his lips gently against mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair as I kissed him back. He moved his lips from mine, but kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my ears, my throat. I didn't want to give this up.

After we broke apart, we watched each other again. Our eyes we both sad from the knowledge of what was coming tomorrow, the unbearable pain that would come when we both left Forks. He would go back to his home, and I would go to mine.

I touched his eyes, and closed them with my fingers, the agony in them was too much. I traced his face, memorizing every inch so I would never forget the perfection. I kissed his eyelids, and he smiled.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

He held me closer. "I love you more."

We went back and forth until the sun set, squabbling like children about who loved who more. We decided it was a moot point, and that we both loved each other desperately.

The sky eventually darkened and faded to black, but neither of us made any move to leave. We stayed on our backs, watching the stars above, and glancing at each other occasionally, then laughing when we caught the other looking. The sky was clear for once of all clouds, and the moon made a perfect spotlight for us.

"Meeting you was pure destiny, you and I were meant to be. Maybe not now," Edward stroked my cheek. "But someday soon, we'll meet not under the sun, but beneath the moon. We'll watch the stars 'till they fade away, but we _won't _fade. Together we'll always stay. This is the day I'm waiting for, from that day I'll love you more and more. I can't wait to watch the sun set with you, every sunset from that day 'till the rest of our lives." His eyes sparkled with the depth of his passion.

"That was beautiful," I didn't realize I was crying again until my voice cracked. I quickly wiped the tears away. "Did you write that?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No, I read it in a book of poetry..." **(A/N: The poem is called "Every Sunset" and it is written by Jessica Voyles. I **_**had**_** to include it in here.)**

I hugged myself closer to him. "Thank you for the best summer I've ever spent. I'm glad you're my first love."

"No, Bella. Thank _you_ for being perfect for me in every way imaginable. I promise I _will_ see you again. I'll always love you."

We fell asleep eventually, in each other's arms. I woke up in the morning, still in Edward's arms, but he was carrying me through the forest, back to his car. He hadn't noticed that I was awake yet, and part of me wished that I wasn't awake and that last night could have just lasted forever, so this morning wouldn't have had to come to introduce me to misery. Before I could control myself, I began crying. The least I could do was cry silently so Edward wouldn't have to see the tears. I turned my head slightly into his chest to hide my face. I kept my face smooth as the tears rolled down.

Eventually, though, I began to slightly hyperventilate as I felt him beginning to slow down as he approached the car. He knew I was awake now, and he set me down in front of him, and hugged me into his chest.

"I l-love you, Ed...ward. I'm not r-read to l-l-leave you ye-yet." I hugged him tighter.

I could feel his chest shaking against my face, and at first I thought he was laughing at me, but when I looked up to his face, I watched as tears began rolling down his face, too. I wiped mine away, my sadness forgotten as I saw the pain in his eyes. He was obviously trying to hold all this in during the night. I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him.

His voice was stronger than mine was. "You mean the world to me. I feel like I'm losing my entire being by losing you. You have my heart in the palm of your hand, and you're taking it away with you. I want it to belong to you, forever." He sat on the hood of his car, and pulled me to sit in his lap. We sat there and watched the sun rise and the colors slowly go from purple to orange to pink and finally into blue.

"Are you going home today, too?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "We packed up everything from the beach house last night. The only reason we stayed there so long is because we spent so much time on the beach there." He sighed.

The drive home, we both sat in silence. When we pulled into my driveway, I still wasn't ready for the eminent goodbye we would soon utter. I squeezed his hand.

"I love you." The words rang with their farewell.

"I love you, too." His voice was so forlorn. It killed me to do it, but I had to... I opened the door and walked up the porch to the door. I turned back to the car, and the calm mask he wore was slowly fading around the edges, I could tell he was about to cry again. I waved to him, and he drove off, the tears rolling down both of our faces now.

"I'll never forget you." I whispered to the sight of his car turning the corner back to the main road.

I was ready to get out of Forks now. With Edward gone, nothing was appealing anymore. It was just like my first few days here before I met him. Forks was uninteresting, plain, and boring. Nothing was special. Nothing was interesting. Nothing would help ease this pain. _Nothing_.

I walked inside, ready to go pack the few bags I had brought, when Charlie stopped me.

"Young lady! Where were you last night? You told me you were going out with Edward one last time before you left... And then you don't come home until early in the morning. You could have at least called! You could have--" He froze when he saw the tears streaming down my face. He pulled me into a hug, and I hugged him back, though I desperately wished for another pair of arms to be holding me. "It's okay, Bells. I know how much you like it here." Too bad he didn't know _why_ I liked it here so much... Emphasis on the past-tense. I only nodded. "Your mother and I talked the other night... We talked it over, and we both decided that you can stay here and go to school here. Would you like that? I already bought that truck from Billy so you can keep it, and I have you registered to go to Forks High School. I know it will be tough for a while, but you'll make friends soon enough! It'll be me and you, Bells. Now we can always hang out together like a real family." The emotion and happiness was overpowering. How could I be so cruel as to tell him that I didn't want to be in Forks anymore? I couldn't walk out on him after he went through all the trouble to buy me the truck permanently... I couldn't break his heart through my selfishness. He was right; I would eventually make friends... Hopefully.

"Yeah, Dad. That would be really great." I attempted a smile and prayed that the tears still in my voice would mask over the lie. I couldn't stand to be doing nothing anymore. I had to distract myself before I could think too much about being stuck in Forks, while Edward was on his way back to his home, somewhere far, far away from here.

I tried to go outside to read, but the green trees that loomed overhead screamed "_Edward!_" I went back inside and wasted time by cleaning the kitchen, then moved on to clean the living room. I doubt I missed one speck of dust as I made my way through the downstairs. Dinner was simple. Homemade Macaroni and Cheese. It _did_ taste good, but it wasn't enough to distract me.

When I went up to my bedroom, my eyes weren't ready to close. They stared ahead, waiting to become heavy enough to sleep. Heaviness came, but not a tired heavy; my eyes became overwhelmed with the tears I had composed all day for Charlie's sake. I cried all night, I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to sleep. I only wanted Edward.

Morning was too bright. The sun wasn't my friend anymore. It was like an obsessed stalker, determined to make the world's unhappiest person happy. It was trying to please a girl who was unable to be pleased. _What a waste of time to even be shining today_. I thought miserably to the sun. It peeked through my window as if it was checking on me. I glared back at it and shut my curtains over the window. The sunshine was taunting me.

I felt empty at breakfast. I wasn't even hungry, so I didn't eat. Charlie was already gone to work, which I was glad for because today would be filled with moping.

I had cleaned every inch of the small house, organized all the videos and DVDs into alphabetical order, did all the laundry, _and_ I even cleaned all the baseboards around the house by the time Charlie got home. Anything to preoccupy me, I guess...

I made dinner again for Charlie. Tonight was lasagna and salad. I purposefully got myself a small portion of each, so Charlie wouldn't question my lack of appetite. I wonder if he would have noticed anyway, he got seconds and then thirds. Finally, he ate his last bite.

"That was really good, Bells; you sure can cook." He smiled at me.

"Thanks Dad."

The next week before school went similarly. I did whatever I could around the house, always in motion, only thinking about Edward when darkness overtook the sky. I cried myself to sleep. Edward had given me his heart, but he had taken mine in the process. I clutched my arms closer to my chest, imagining I was cradling his heart and putting it next to the empty hole in my heart. It made me feel a little better that wherever Edward was, he was looking after my heart as I looked after his.

I hope he is doing better than I was, though. I would hate to imagine him being anywhere near as miserable as I was. I couldn't handle that.

Before I could hardly realize it, Monday morning came, rearing its ugly head, and it was time to start school at Forks High School…

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! I really want to get some more reviews, it will make me happyyyy. Pleaseee? Also, leave me any suggestions you have or any criticism.  
Next chapter is about Bella's first day at Forks. :) I started writing it during school. I couldn't focus on any of my actual classes hardly!**


	4. Dancing Queen

**Okay, so I'm going on vacation, starting tomorrow afternoon, so I obviously won't be in the position to write anything or update, so I had to practically beg my parents to let me finish this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it, I hope you enjoy reading it. I'll hopefully be back Monday with an update :)**

**Disclaimer: Edward: Elyse, I can't do this right now... I have to film New Moon. I'm sorry. I can't be with you right now.**

**Elyse: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Jacob: I've been working out a lot... ;) you can hang out with me if you want....**

**I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.... Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Chapter 4**

A clean break. That was best for us, right? Edward had tried to call me after he left, but I didn't answer or call back. I didn't want him to know that I was still here. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me. All I could think of while I walked up to the school was Edward, how much I loved and missed him.

I walked into the door labeled "OFFICE," and walked to the front desk. An older woman, who appeared to be in her late fifties--with very obviously artificial red hair, I might add--smiled at me.

"Hello," she began. "My name is Mrs. Cope. Can I help you with anything?"

"Yeah, my name is Isabella Swan," her eyed widened with knowledge. In a town this small, news was sure to travel fast. "I'm new here, and I need my schedule and everything."

She rustled through her papers on the countertop, found all of my information, and handed it to me, pointing to each of the papers. "This is your schedule, that right... there is your Emergency information (make sure you bring that back to me tomorrow so we can file it away for any emergencies), and here--" she pointed to a lime green sheet of paper that was obviously the map of the school. I momentarily tuned her out, seeing nothing around me, only focusing on the green that was so close to Edward's eye color. I watched the map sadly as she used big hand motions while she spoke to me, following only the green. _Jeez, how pathetic can I get? Okay... Focus Bella._ I tuned back into what Mrs. Cope was rambling about, unaware of my previous preoccupation. "... and I know you'll just love it here. Well, I will let you get off to class now. Bring me back your schedule list at the end of the day signed by all of your teachers. I'll see you then!" she waved me out of the room and watched me curiously as I retreated out of the room.

By the time I was finished with Mrs. Cope, most of the students were beginning to arrive at the school.

I followed the line of traffic until I reached the student parking lot and parked in a spot randomly. I pulled my book bag from the passenger seat and began walking toward the school. I had walked maybe only ten steps before I froze dead in my tracks. There, sitting on the opposite side of the parking lot sat a shiny silver Volvo. My broken heart began to throb painfully in my chest. I cursed under my breath and continued walking. Leave it to Forks to make me more miserable than I already was. Today looked like it was going to be a great day...

My first few classes were slow and boring. I met a nice girl named Angela in my first class, and we talked about our favorite books for a while. She seemed really nice, but she was even shyer than I was by a long shot. Some rude girl named Lauren was in my next class, and I automatically hated her. I decided to just ignore and told myself to not pay her any special attention because that was clearly what she wanted. I wasn't in the mood for any stupid girls that thrived on stepping all over people. I had enough drama for now, thanks.

Third period, I had my English class. I was glad to see most of the books on the list of what we would be reading this semester were some of my favorite books. This class looked like it would be interesting. Nothing extremely special happened, but I was counting down the minutes to my next period: Lunch.

I was so glad when lunch_ finally_ arrived. I was absolutely starving; who knew a monotonous school like this would bring starvation?! I chuckled quietly to myself and made my way toward an empty table, trying to ignore the people staring at me. I was right about to sit down when a pair of hands grabbed me and pulled me to a different table that was nearly full. I stared wide-eyed at the girl who was pulling me.

She was beautiful... but in a different way... A good way. She was _very_ small; petite and delicate waist, she was also very short, standing no more than five feet tall at the most. Her hair was cut to about the length of where her chin was, but her hair flared out at the bottom, each strand sticking out every which way. She had an impeccable face; her beauty was absolutely blinding as she grinned toothily at me.

"My name is Alice," she said in a high-pitched soprano voice. "Alice Cullen. This is my boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock," she pointed to a tall blonde boy with really light brown eyes (even lighter than mine; his were a light coffee color, while mine were chocolate brown) who looked to me, waving and smiling. "My brother Emmett," she pointed to a man who would be frightening if he weren't grinning so widely, then pulled me up into a bone-crushing hug. I had known him for all of two and a half seconds, and he acted as though we played together in the sandbox when we were kids. He had _huge_ muscles that I stared at, this was the Man of Steel; all muscle, no flab. He noticed me staring at them with my jaw opened and flexed, making the muscles impossibly grow in their size. I blinked as Alice continued. "And that is his girlfriend, Rosalie Hale." She pointed lastly to a girl who looked more like she belonged in a Playboy magazine rather than a high school, especially not a high school in Forks... But she was better because she was more beautiful than all those girls in the magazines put together, _plus _she _had _her clothes on. She had gorgeous blonde hair that looked like yellow silk, and wide, deep blue eyes. My self-esteem dropped about a million points as I looked her over. She gave me a half smiled, looking extremely uncomfortable.

I realized they were staring at me expectantly. I remembered I had yet to introduce myself to these people. "Oh, I'm Bella Swan." my cheeks flushed as I shook each of their hands.

"Well? Are you just gonna _stand_ there and be own personal lunch statue, or are you gonna sit with us?" Emmett teased.

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to look like I didn't care, and sat down in one of the remaining seats, ending up between Alice and Emmett.

Alice began speaking really quickly, I had to focus so I could understand what she was trilling on about. "Oh, Bella! I just know the two of us will be the best of friends! We will be like peanut butter and jelly, only _closer_! We can have sleepovers all the time, and stay up for hours and just talk about life and boys and whatever else you like to do. I can take you shopping, because let's face it honey, you _desperately_ need my professional assistance. We are gonna be like sisters, only closer! I can tell we are get along really great!"

I was stunned that this stranger was treating me like her favorite person in the whole world, after only a few moments. I was actually a little weirded-out by this conversation in general. Why would it matter to her that we are friends? Why had she chosen _me_ of all the people in the cafeteria (many of whom were considerably better looking than I was, for that matter). She couldn't be doing this to only the new students, and taking them under her wing automatically, because I know the school was bound to have more new students than just _me_. This _was_ the first day of a new school year...

I smiled a little awkwardly. "Listen, Alice. I'm flattered that you wanted me to sit here with you, but I'm just a little confused as to why you brought _me_ here, when you had plenty of people to choose from."

Alice beamed at me. "Let's just say I have a pretty good idea of how much you will effect my _family_ someday." She pointed to her head and smiled.

Emmett rolled his eyes at Alice and ruffled her hair. "Alice here has it in her head that she can see the future. You know, like _That's So Raven_, only Alice doesn't do this." He froze dramatically, and turned his head, staring straight to the wall with his eyes slightly unfocused and wide. He turned back and shuddered a little. We all laughed.

"That's So Alice." Rosalie sang under her breath, causing us to all laugh again.

Alice rolled her eyes and slapped Emmett on the back of his head playfully. "Well, of course I'm not _always _right. Nobody's perfect, after all."

That set Emmett off. He grabbed Jasper's water bottle and pretended it was a microphone. "_Nobody's perfect! I gotta work it! Again and again, 'til I get it right. Nobody's perfect, you live and you learn it, and if I mess it up sometimes, nobody's perfect_.... _Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days. Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout. Everybody gets that way!" _Emmett continues to sing Hannah Montana, and actually stood up and started shimmying, receiving many astounded looks from the students. Everyone sitting at my table, and a few people in nearby tables were literally in tears and doubled over in laughter. I briefly saw someone stand up and run out of the room, their pants drenched, I looked back to their table and saw yellow liquid surrounding the chair. Poor kid.

These people made me feel weightless. I stood up next to Emmett, and whispered in his ear. Emmett then whispered in Alice's ear, who grinned at me widely. Emmett began beat-boxing out the rhythm to the song I told him, and Alice began to sing the background notes of the song. I waited for the lyrics to come in. "_You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life. See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen!_" Alice harmonized with me while I sang, Rosalie and Jasper clapped along to Emmett's beat. I continued singing until I got to the chorus, then I did something completely out of character for me, following only the high I was getting from being around my new friends. I stood on the chair and walked onto the table. People immediately crowded around the table and started jumping and dancing to the beat. "_You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen! Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah! You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life! Ooh, see that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen!_" Everyone was screaming for me.

"_You__'__re a tease, you turn __'__em on,_" I winked at some guy near the edge of my table."_Leave them burning and then you__'__re gone... Looking out for another, anyone will do, you__'__re in the mood for a dance. And when you get the chance_..." I continued singing until the very end, and everyone screamed and cheered. I noticed some of the teachers clapping and laughing for me too. I blushed and stepped down from the table.

Forks High School was looking up for me. Who knew I could _ever_ have the courage to do that? I giggled to myself and sat back down with Alice and her friends.

"Bella! That was awesome!" Emmett shouted and punched my knuckles. I was breathless, and still running a little on the high I felt from singing in front of literally the whole school. Quite a way to make a first impression, I'd say.

We continued lunch, talking about our lunch, until the bell rang for our next class. We all stood up, and I got a hug from Alice and Emmett, Jasper smiled and waved goodbye, and Rosalie gave me a rotten look. What was with her?

I began walking to my fifth period, and a boy caught up with me and walked a little too close for my comfort.

"Hey, I'm Mike Newton." he said.

I kept walking, but I stepped up my pace a little. I tried to pretend like I couldn't hear him while he continued.

"That was a pretty sexy dance you were doing up there. You sang good, too." If he was trying to compliment me, it wasn't affecting me the way he was obviously hoping for it to. I could imagine the way he was imagining my response... The way he thought it should be.

"Oh, Mike!" I would say passionately, and locking him into my arms and kissing him passionately. He would touch every inch of my body he could get his filthy hands on, and I would enjoy it. I rolled my eyes and gagged internally. _He _wishes _that would happen. Too bad for him though, my heart is already occupied... To Edward... _My dead heart throbbed in my chest at the thought of his name. I began to wonder randomly what Edward would think if he saw me singing on that table... In front of everyone. I blushed again. I wasn't normally like this! What had gotten into me?!

"What's your next class... Isabella, right?" _Ugh. Charlie must have introduced me to everyone here as Isabella._ I shuddered before replying.

"My next class is biology, and my name is _Bella_."

He started bouncing as he walked, which only annoyed me further. What is this kid's problem? "I have biology next, too!"

Oh, great. I rolled my eyes.

We finally reached the biology class, and I sat in a desk toward the back of the room. I was a little relieved no one sat at the black lab table with me, I wasn't ready for the attention I was sure my lunch stunt would soon give me. At least no one was really comfortable with me yet (besides Alice and her friends, of course) because I was still the outsider, everyone else had grown up surrounded by everyone else and their families. I was an alien here to them.

The teacher called roll, and my heart spluttered as he called out someone named Edward Cullen. My eyes bulged out and I looked around the classroom for the traitor who dared taunt me with the same name. Evidentially, this Cullen boy was not at school today... Hopefully, he never would be at school. I couldn't handle it if I heard _his_ name every day in this class. It would make the heartache millions of times worse. I breathed in and out deeply through my nose, trying to focus on the teacher, and not on the fact that whenever Cullen _did_ come to class, he would be forced to sit next to me, I had the only empty seat.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I put my head on the table and cried silently to myself until class was over. I kept my eyes down as I jogged out of the room so no one could see how red they were._ This is hell. This is hell. This is hell._

Final class, and my favorite: Gym. Insert heavy sarcasm here. Gym was torture. The coaches told us that they refused to put up with any slackers in the class, and those who were insubordinate, would be punished with push-ups and laps around the gym or outside on the track. I groaned.

Praise Jehovah today was _finally_ over. I couldn't take this day anymore. I had gotten my schedule signed by all my teachers, and brought it back to Mrs. Cope. She jabbered about nothing of interest to me, and I went out to the lot to the haven I called: "My truck."

The parking lot was filled with students standing by their cars and chatting animatedly to each other, catching up on the latest gossip and sharing stories from their summers.

I glared at the stupid silver Volvo once more, to see Alice looking straight at me curiously, then broke out into a smile when she saw me. She ran over to me... Okay, actually, the girl was so graceful, she looked like she was dancing toward me, and called out my name so I couldn't escape.

"Bella! I just had the best idea! You _need_ to come over to my house tonight and have dinner with my family. We will follow you to your house, and then you can leave your truck there, and then we will take you over to our house! Oh, my God! You will love my parents, and Edward wasn't at school today because he's been pretty depressed lately, but I'm sure you two will get along after a while..." Of course. Alice Cullen... Edward Cullen. The stupid boy was related to Alice. I was about to back out of it, but when I looked back to Alice to refuse her invitation, she was watching me with the saddest puppy dog eyes I have ever seen. How could I refuse to such a face?

"Of course, Alice," I said with as much enthusiasm I could manage, while the whole time I knew how seeing this boy Edward and hearing his name would remind me of _my_ Edward, and send my heart into its own hell. "I would love to meet the rest of your family." Alice hugged me and ran (AKA danced) back to her car to tell her family the news. I got in my truck and began to pull out, and saw Emmett driving the Volvo right behind me.

I went inside after we arrived to the house, and I dropped off my things and left a quick note for Charlie telling him where I would be and not to worry. I told him to order a pizza because I wouldn't be around to cook. I grabbed my purse and ran to the car, sliding into the backseat with Alice and Jasper.

Oh my Lord. This car smells amazing. How do they get off with looking good, having a nice car, _and_ smelling good? I glanced to what they were wearing, they all had very attractive outfits on, too. _Oh, great. They have plenty of money for great clothes, too?_ I frowned to myself. I am so plain.

After about ten minutes, Emmett began driving into the forest on a dirt road. Before I could ask where we were going, I caught sight of an enormous white house standing against the trees. It was absolutely beautiful. It was old-fashioned, but still fit in well with its location in Forks.

We pulled in front of the house, and walked up the porch and into the house.

"Mom?" Alice called. "We brought a friend over for dinner and to hang out for a while."

A woman who looked _way_ too young to be the mother of three children walked into the room. She had smooth brown hair, and a very kind face. Her wide brown eyes were cheerful as she walked to me and gave me a hug.

I blushed. "Hi Mrs. Cullen. I'm Bella." I looked at my feet while I introduced myself.

"Oh, please! Call me Esme, darling," she told me, then turned to Alice. "Your brother, Edward--" I cringed slightly at the name. "Is in his room, listening to music. Last I heard was that he was going to sleep for a while, but he would be down for dinner. I wouldn't bother him, he's still not happy..." She trailed off, looking worried for her son.

"Is Dad still at work?" Emmett asked, edging toward a huge plasma screen TV and a comfortable looking couch.

"Yes, he'll be here for dinner though, too." She turned to me. "He's a surgeon, you know... Well, he's more of an all-purpose doctor. He can do a lot of things when it comes to medicine..." She said matter-of-factly.

We spent our time watching the huge TV, laughing and joking around. Eventually, Alice popped in SingStar and we all took turns singing. I almost peed my pants like the kid in lunch when Emmett did Britney Spears "Hit Me Baby One More Time," complete with body rolling and posing for cameras that weren't there. This guy was seriously the most funny person I had ever met.

Dr. Cullen came home before the infamous Edward woke up. Dr. Cullen was more of a male model than a doctor. My eyes widened as I took him in. He had very fair blonde hair and shining grey eyes. I guessed they always shone. When Esme walked into the room a wide smile lit his face, and he immediately strode to her and wrapped his arms around her waste, kissing her nose sweetly.

Alice, Rosalie and I all said "Awwww!" and Emmett began making kissy noises toward his parents.

Dr. Cullen turned and looked at me for the first time, and shook my hand. "You must be Bella. Esme told me we had company for dinner tonight." He smiled warmly at me, making me feel very comfortable and at home.

Esme announced dinner was ready and went on her phone to literally call Edward Cullen to eat.

"Your home is beautiful, Dr. Cullen." I couldn't help but tell him the truth.

"Please, call me Carlisle, _Dr._ makes me feel overworked." He chuckled to himself lightly. I heard footsteps coming lazily down the stairs, I wasn't ready to look at this Edward, I wasn't interested in anyone who wasn't _my_ Edward... The footsteps suddenly stopped, and I knew he couldn't be at the floor already, but I kept my eyes looking straight at Carlisle.

"Bella? Is that you?" a velvety voice spoke, making my heart scream.

I looked up to the voice to see a tall boy with bronze hair. His emerald eyes were wide, but they looked strangely dead--as if he had heard bad news for far too long--but I watched as light began to rush in and overflow them, causing his gemstone-like eyes to melt. The boy rubbed his eyes quickly, as if he were unsure if this was a dream or an illusion.

"Edward?"

**Reviews make me almost as happy as Edward makes me happy... But reviews are a close second. :)  
Please give me any criticsm or suggestions or anything. I LOVEEE them :D Hope you enjoyed Chapter 4.**


	5. Bon Appetite?

**Okay, so before I really get a-going on this chapter... I have gotten things back about how I need to not skip over things later in the story... And of course I'm not planning on skipping later in the story once the plot REALLY starts to pick up, which is gonna be in the next couple chapters, but I was wondering, do you guys want me go back and add in another chapter in the beginning? I know this is only the 5th chapter, but I feel like I might have skipped over too much in my hurry to get into the story. I'd be more than happy to go back and add a chapter of Bella and Edward's summer together, because there isn't really gonna be any fluff between them for a while... So just tell me in the reviews, and if it's a popular idea, I will have the new chapter up for the beginning up ASAP. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter Five**

"Edward?"

My mind completely blank. I thought hew left La Push to go home after the summer... I guess his "home" was _Forks_, not somewhere else more glamorous like California, Florida, New York... Paris? His beauty had hinted somewhere that beautiful people made up the entire population, not _Forks_, though. I blinked as all the puzzle pieces fit together. He lives in Forks. I'm not alone after all. Is Alice really psychic? Is this what she meant by helping her _family_?

"I thought you went back to...?" He trailed off, he looked scared, as if I would be leaving to Arizona right after this conversation.

"No, my mom told my dad I was staying here because she thought I wanted to. And Charlie has a hard time being alone sometimes, so I stayed..." Edward still stood motionless on the staircase.

The feeling finally came back to my legs, and I ran up to the stair above him, so our eyes were nearly on the same plane (he was still taller than me, even with the help from the stairs. How unfair.) His eyes were still wide and frozen. I gently and slowly touched his cheekbone, brushing it with the back of my hand. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. I couldn't take my hand away from him. I trailed my fingers up his jaw line and into his hair, twirling my fingers around his messy locks.

He opened his eyes and began looking me over, taking in everything he missed the past couple of weeks. I didn't have the patience to let him continue, though. My lips crushed themselves onto his, my arms snaked themselves over his shoulders and pulled him closer to my body and held him tightly. He still had my heart, and I his, but we were close enough now that the distance from earlier no longer caused us any pain.

"Edward?" Esme's voice came softly and yet still joyously. I remembered we had an audience, and pulled away from him, blushing of course.

Edward still held me in his arms though. "Yes, mom?" he said without looking away from me.

"Is this... Is Bella the girl from the summer?" Edward smiled and nodded. I doubt either of us could be happier in this moment.

I tore my gaze away from the emeralds I was beginning to wonder if I had just imagined them as well as the rest of the summer, to look to my friends at the foot of the stairs.

I looked to Alice first. She was literally bouncing up and down, clapping. Her face looked as though her jaw would break through her skin, she was smiling so big. Her hazel eyes (she seemed to take on the green in what I assumed was from a grandparent--that would explain Edward's--and the brown in Esme's and combine them into a beautiful pool of color) danced between Edward and I, looking as though _they_ would pop out from so much movement so quickly.

Rosalie stood next to Alice, who I looked to next. Rosalie had her arms folded over her chest, and her beautiful face was pulled into a heavy scowl. _What the heck_?

Jasper looked pleased, but his calm mask never wavered into anything more.

Emmett had a huge smile, like Alice, but his eyes were more evil and menacing. I could practically see the gears in his head conjuring twisted plans to humiliate Edward and I. I have to admit, I was a little intimated, so I moved on.

Esme was clutching Carlisle to herself, and they were whispering to each other, huge smiles on both of their faces.

I was about to ask what exactly was going on and why everyone was emanating happiness (with one exception), but Edward pulled my face back to his to kiss me again. I immediately forgot everything but Edward. Nothing mattered anymore but Edward. His lips on mine. His fingers now weaving themselves behind my neck and into my hair. His voice whispering my name any time we would briefly break apart for air. His sweet scent pulsing from his skin. His heartbeat making mine that much stronger.

I have no idea how long we stood together on the stairs, kissing, but when we broke apart, there was no one else in our world. Well, actually there was no one else left in the room... But whatever.

He took my hand and pulled me up the stairs. On the third floor, he walked to a door at the end of the hallway and sat down on a black leather couch, patting the seat next to him. I decided to ignore him and sat straight in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him.

He chuckled. The sound was a pure symphony to my ears. I kissed the corner of his mouth while he laughed. I couldn't love him enough.

We both wanted our privacy, even though we weren't doing anything mischievous... It seemed better to be alone than under the gaze of his family. Don't get me wrong, they all seem really nice, but it was a little awkward for them to be standing there smiling at us, while we are in the middle of just trying to catch up on whatever we missed out on.

"Tell me everything that happened with your parents. I want to know why you're here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to see you here, but I'm just a little confused." He was tracing my collarbone with his forefinger, and didn't look into my eyes while he spoke. His voice was a bit shy, which was very uncommon for Edward.

"The day I thought I was leaving to go home, I walked in my house and Charlie stopped me before I could go pack my bags to get the hell out of this town." Edward looked up to my face quickly, confusion written all over it, before turning his gaze back down. His fingers slowly moved up my neck to the spot on the side of my throat where my pulse was racing. A smile pulled on the corners of his lips while his fingertips gently stroked my throat. I could feel goose bumps raising on my arms. I continued, but my voice was a little shaky. "Forks without you held no interest for me. Whenever I walked out my door all I saw was you. But you were never there. I tried to stay inside, too, and just busy myself with chores around Charlie's house... But I remembered when you sat in my kitchen when I made you dinner. I remembered when you watched the TV with Charlie, it was like the memory of you haunted me everywhere I went. It tore me apart." Tears were beginning to form. I blinked them away, but one fell and trickled down to where Edward's hand still was. He looked up to my face and kissed away the tear streak going down it.

"Then what happened?" he began tracing over my eyebrows and my nose bridge.

"Charlie started telling me about how great it would be if I stayed with him. He thought that was what I wanted... He bought me that old truck permanently and got me enlisted in school. I couldn't tell him no. It would have hurt him too much and I couldn't leave him behind and forget about him and move to Phoenix again. Part of me thought maybe I could forget about you, too, if I moved away. But I don't think it would have been possible ever."

"I was much worse off than you were when I thought you left," he took his hand away from my face and put it in his lap, watching it instead of me. "I drove home and locked myself in here. I only came out to eat. The rest of the time I stayed here moping around like a lost puppy. I tried to block out my thoughts of you with my music," He gestured to a very impressive looking collection of CDs that aligned one of his wall. There was no wall, only the shelves and shelves of music. "But every song that played would give off little memories I had with you. The songs painted pictures of our love. I tried to focus on reading poetry, but none of those helped either. I even turned to Edgar Allen Poe, but he wasn't very cooperative." He chuckled. "My parents knocked on my door, but I wouldn't even answer. I hated the sound of my voice when it wasn't talking to you. I tried to call you, but you never answered. I was afraid you had forgotten about me, already."

"I was afraid to pick up because I thought _you_ would have moved on already. I didn't want _you_ to know how miserable I was without you." I kissed the tip of his nose. "I thought maybe if I knew you were happy somewhere else in the world, I could be happy for you." I kissed right below his eye. "But you weren't happy either." My lip jutted out into a small pout. He looked up and kissed my lower lip.

"I'm happy now, though."

"Me, too." I smiled and kissed him again.

We sat on his bed for a long time, just holding each other. I was dazzled over his absolute perfection, and he seemed just as intrigued by me. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Edward? Bella? Dinner is ready! We wanted to wait for you two, but Emmett is starting to complain about his poor little tummy."

"HEY! MY TUMMY IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE MADE FUN OF! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE EDWARD OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL--"

"Now, now, Emmett. That's quite enough from you," Esme said sternly. "Please hurry down, you two."

Edward pulled me up by my hand and squeezed it before walking out of his room and back down the stairs. Everyone watched us walk down the stairs, and my face burned magenta. I rushed over to Alice's side and away from Edward so they wouldn't keep watching us like that. I should have known better.

Alice tackled me into a hug that was very strong for someone of Alice's size. She pulled the side of my head to her ear and began whispering briskly into my ear.

"What did I tell you at lunch today, Bella? You remember? I _told_ you that you were gonna mean a lot to my family! And what happened? You mean a lot to my brother! I am so happy! I can't believe this! We really are gonna be best friends forever! And you and Edward are so perfect for each other. I can see that already. Now everyone is with someone else! Isn't that great?!"

"Woah, woah, woah, woah. Alice. We aren't _together_." _I wish_.

"Well, that's only a matter of time." She winked. "He's gonna ask you officially in just a couple days."

"Well... I also remember you saying something about how nothing is set in stone. The 'future' changes. Remember _that?_" I was getting a little annoyed. It was just a summer romance. Edward could do so much better than me. I wasn't stupid enough to get my hopes up. For all I know, he could be with that girl Lauren or someone else in the popular crowd. I'm not an idiot. But Alice seemed to be willing to prove me wrong, which I wouldn't complain if I was wrong in the end... There I go, getting my hopes up.

I noticed Emmett walking into another room, probably toward the food, and I followed him quickly. I walked slowly to the other room, trailing my fingers against the rough stucco surface on the wall. _This house is really fancy. _I couldn't help admiring the grand appearance of their home. Every room I had seen was equipped with extremely modern furniture. _I wish my house was this nice..._ I walked into the room Emmett went into and ran straight into his back. When he moved out of my way, I noticed what had stopped him dead in his tracks.

The table was completely covered with food. It was stocked out to the max. Every food group was represented here. There was a loaf of homemade bread sitting in the center of the table, a garden salad with an assortment of salad dressings standing in an orderly fashion beside the large bowl, a fruit salad was next to the garden one, making my stomach grumble. Just to the left of the bread was a plate filled with pork chops. There were pots scattered around the table that held spinach, rice, green beans, corn, and steamed broccoli. And near the head of the table was--by the smell of it, which I have no idea how I know this with all the other aromas in the air--a steaming apple pie. _Oh my GOD! LET ME EAT!!!_ Emmett had already taken his seat, and I didn't want to be awkward, so I took a seat next to him. I laughed as he began shoveling food from every container onto his plate, which I noticed was the largest of all the plates, and giving very generous portions to himself from each.

"Want some?" His voice was muffled through the bread he had already popped into his mouth. He was holding out a smaller piece of bread that he tore from his own. It looked delectable, so I had to accept.

"Mmmm." I sighed after I took a bite. The bread was corn bread, it was the perfect blend of salty and sweet. I seized a dollop of butter and smothered it onto the bread before taking another bite. The cornbread was so hot and the butter was still cool, so it sent my throat to hog-heaven.

I grabbed a decent sized pork chop and began cutting into it. This was just as good as the corn bread, maybe better. I sprinkled some pepper and salt all over the chop and dug in again. Emmett was silent next to me, stuffing his face twice as quickly as I was.

Someone started laughing at me. I looked up to see the rest of Edward's family and Jasper and Rosalie standing in the doorway watching Emmett and I eat. Well, they were watching _me_ eat. I suppose they are all used to Emmett's appetite. I blushed, of course, from their attention.

"Well, Emmett, it seems you've just made a new best friend!" Jasper teased. Rosalie clicked her tongue and huffed before turning and stalking out of the room. Esme turned and followed her out of the room. I felt so confused. I had a feeling it was _me_ that was making her so upset, but I have hardly talked to the girl... Alice sat next to me and from the corner of my eye I saw Edward grimace toward his sister, and he sat down on the other side of the table across from me. Jasper filled in the seat across Alice, an empty seat next to him (and across from Emmett) for Rosalie, and Carlisle took the seat at the head of the table.

Emmett and I had completely calmed down our hunger pangs, and we all were silently waiting for Rosalie and Esme to come back.

"I'll go check on them really quick." I said after a minute or two. Everyone was watching me curiously during the silence, and I was getting really uncomfortable. Carlisle nodded absently and turned to watch Edward watch me get up. I shuffled awkwardly out of the room and I heard voices coming from what I guessed was the kitchen.

I walked quietly toward the voices and I heard Rosalie hissing at Esme.

"... and she's stealing Alice _and_ Emmett from me, too! Alice is the only real girl friend I have, and Emmett is the love of my life! Then Bella just waltzes right into our lives and she's taking everything important to me with her. She's even gotten _Edward_ to fall in love with her! Plus, I don't really see why. She's _okay_ looking..." she paused briefly and sighed. "Okay, she's better looking than _okay_... But still, what's she gonna do next? Ban me from this house? Is she gonna start dating Edward and Emmett at the same time? Maybe she will break up Alice and Jasper, too. She'll date everyone at once, even Alice. We don't know her. Maybe she likes girls, too." Rosalie made a gagging sound. I felt tears stinging my eyes. She really thought all this of me? "I hate her. I hate her so much."

I wiped the tears from my eyes before she could continue and walked into the spacious kitchen. I cleared my throat. "Uhh... Are you guys coming to eat soon?" Rosalie glared at me and Esme looked very tired. Esme said they'd be there soon, and right as I was about to turn and go back to the table, Esme stopped me.

"Rosalie," she began. "Rosalie, you've been holding a grudge against Bella, no matter how short-lived it has been, it has to end now. I want you to tell Bella how you feel, and I want this worked out. Bella is obviously a very nice young lady and she definitely doesn't deserve the accusations you have been throwing at her."

"It's okay Esme. I heard just about everything Rosalie said when I came to get you..." I said to my feet. The tears were starting to well up again. "Rosalie, I'm not trying to ruin your life or whatever you accuse of me doing. I didn't even know you felt this way about me. I can leave, because obviously this isn't right for me to be here..." Rosalie grabbed my wrist before I could hardly even turn my body. I looked up and saw she was crying, her angelic face masked over in pain.

"I'm sorry, I've been acting immature today. I'm very, _very_ paranoid about everyone I love turning against me, because it's happened a lot. So many people only want to be around me because of the way I look and because I have a lot of nice material things. And the Cullens and Jasper are really the first people to accept me for the person I am. Emmett is the only man who has ever looked past my exterior skin to see who I really am, and he isn't afraid of it... But in the back of my head, I'm always scared... _What if someone new comes along that they all like better than me?_ I was starting to convince myself to calm down and that I was overreacting, but then you show up. Emmett and Alice and Edward are already your good friends... And it's only been a _day_! What if I get to be too boring for them and they leave?" She started crying again. I couldn't stop myself. I hugged her too, both of us sobbing into the other's shoulder.

"Rosalie, you shouldn't lie to yourself like that! Even if Emmett and I _are_ friends, he loves _you_ not me! And Alice can have more than just one friend, right? I'm sure no one meant to hurt you, I sure didn't! But you need to understand that I would _never_ try to ruin your life or your friendships or anything else. I want to be your friend, maybe eventually, we can even be best friends. But I want you to know right now, right off the bat that I won't ever hurt you on purpose. I'm not that kind of person."

Esme joined in on the hug, and we stood there for a few minutes, crying and hugging.

My stomach groaned and Rosalie laughed, wiping away her tears. "Let's eat." She said, and we all walked back to the dining room holding hands.

I was surprised to see everyone still sitting there without having touched their food. We all sat down in the chairs we had chosen in the first place, and began stacking the food onto our plates. I wasn't nearly as hungry as I was before I saw Rosalie, but I still ate until my jeans were feeling a little tight over my stomach. Emmett and I patted our satisfied stomachs at the same time. Everyone saw it and cracked up laughing.

During dinner, Carlisle and Esme mainly asked me a bunch of questions about my family and Arizona. What it was like, did I have a lot of close friends, how am I liking Forks, and what I plan on doing after high school. When it finally ended, I noticed how late it was, and thanked Esme for the wonderful meal.

"Oh. I forgot my truck. Can someone give me a ride?" I was already standing on their front porch, and when I walked back inside, everyone was already cleared out of the room. Except for Edward. He took my hand and walked me back to his silver Volvo. The same one Alice had driven today at school. _Really. How could I not have put the puzzle together while I was in school? Alice Cullen has the same Volvo as Edward. And Edward isn't a common name in the first place, I should've known in biology it was him._

Biology. "Guess who you sit next to in your biology class this year?" I said.

"How would you know who I sit next--" His eyes widened and a smile overcame his face. "_You_ sit next to me?!"

I nodded. He laughed loudly and pulled me into a steel-gripped hug. I was running out of breath and was about to complain when Edward began to kiss me. The sweet taste of his lips was just as good as the scent of him, and just as intoxicating. I couldn't remember anything else except Edward. Not even breathing.

When he finally pulled away, some of the color in my face was gone from lack of oxygen. He chuckled and helped me into the car.

He drove me home quickly, it seemed his speed wasn't just a summer pastime. It was a habit year round. Great.

He walked me back to my door once we got to the house, and told me he would see me tomorrow. He leaned down to kiss me before he left, when Charlie burst through the front door.

"Hello, Edward." Charlie said. Was I _really_ the only one who didn't know Edward lived here? I grimaced at the ground. "I hope the two of you had a nice evening. But it's over now. Tell Dr. Cullen I say hello."

Edward nodded and shook Charlie's hand, then turned and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before jogging back to his car through the rain that was beginning to fall. I waved to the Volvo until he turned the corner, touching the spot where Edward had just kissed.

Gotta love Edward.

**Okay, so don't forget: If you want a chapter from the summer, tell me. I will write one if I get a lot of people. Also, what do you think of this chapter and the story so far?! I don't have very many reviews so I have **_**no idea**_** if anyone else who is reading this likes it or not! Please PLEASEE leave reviews. It helps me write :) Love you all!**


	6. Rude Awakening

Chapter 6

I used to live for my dreams. For the past few weeks it seemed that was the only time I had to spend with Edward... But seeing him again was the perfect antidote for my aching heart. And now, I felt hope. We went to the same school, so I wouldn't be desperate for sleep to overcome my brain, now I was only desperate to be awake, to see him again, to hold him in my arms again.

School the next day after meeting the Cullens was both good and bad. It was good because Edward was back at school, but it was also bad for the same reason.

When I saw a silver Volvo in my driveway the next morning before school. I skipped over to the car to see the Volvo full. I slid into the back next to Alice. No one talked on the way there, but that was fine with me. Edward was driving, Emmett was in the passenger seat, which left Alice and I in the back. When we got to school, Edward hopped out of the car immediately after taking the key out of the ignition, and ran over to a group of pretty dumb-looking guys. _He's probably just excited to see them after the long summer_, I told myself in my head. My heart felt kind of strained though with the separation between us. He hadn't even said "good morning" to me...

Lunch wasn't as fun as it had been yesterday, but it was still pretty entertaining. Emmett kept the party rolling while he picked unceasingly on Jasper for some girl that was wearing too-short shorts and a too-tight cami who came up to him during their gym class, asking him to go to dinner later tonight. Jasper of course said no because he doesn't need or want anyone other than Alice (which caused Alice to squeal and peck her boyfriend on his nose), but the girl evidentially wouldn't give up with Jasper. She progressed to bend over in front of him, trying to force Jasper into seeing what exactly he was missing.

"And then, right as she was bending over trying to show off her tail-end, her shorts ripped! Yeah! They ripped open in the crotch!" Emmett was booming with laughter. "And her underwear! They were Disney Princess panties!" Emmett was literally crying from laughing so hard. Everyone else joined in, except for Jasper.

Emmett made kissy noises at Jasper and batted his eyelashes at him. We were all banging our fists on the table.

Even Rosalie helped to add to the positive tallies for the days. She gave me a semi-uncomfortable smile, but it was a start. I wasn't expecting to be her friend right after she confessed how she was really feeling about me. But at least she wasn't glaring daggers at me anymore.

Edward was no where to be seen during all of this, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I saw him in biology. I was jumping up and down in anticipation, glancing at the clock every few minutes. _Hurry up!_ The bell finally rang.

I was the first one in the classroom because I was so excited to see him again. I hopped into my seat and fidgeted in my seat while I waited impatiently for Adonis himself to walk through the door.

He walked into the room right before the bell rang that signaled the beginning of class. He sunk mortifyingly slowly into the seat next to me, but didn't say anything, or look at me, or even acknowledge I was sitting next to him.

That annoying girl, Lauren, was in this class too. Great. Why hadn't I seen her yesterday? Oh, I was wallowing in my misery from the reminder of Edward. She was turned around away from the front of the room and the teacher and was looking straight at Edward.

Edward looked at her and smiled. _What? No!_ Edward did _not_ just smile at her! _Get a grip. Get a grip. He's just being nice, right?_

I focused on the teacher and his lecture, taking my notes and writing down everything the teacher mumbled, no matter how important it was. I pressed down really hard though, I was still distracted by Edward and Lauren's exchange. They had started texting each other now, too. I knew they were texting each other, and not someone else because whenever he sent something, she would cackle and turn to look at Edward, who would smile back. I'm sure a frown was plastered into my face, but I was so numb, I couldn't feel it.

I'm just overreacting, right? They are probably talking about their summers or something. When I saw from my peripheral vision, Edward was opening his phone to look at the new text message, and I glanced down to read it over his shoulder. I know it was wrong to snoop at his private conversations, but I was going crazy over here!

_So you want to come over later tonight? My parents won't be home, and we could test out the new hot tub... ;)_ I almost gagged when I read that. Edward wouldn't fall for that.

The next four letters sent knives into my heart. _Sure._ Why Edward? Why are you torturing me?

I think Edward felt my gaze, and he looked up to me. His face was calm, but his eyes deceived him by looking guilty. They were quickly blocked off when mine began to dew up with water. I turned my gaze back to my notes, and prayed the bell would ring soon.

Edward turned back to his phone to continue texting. I wasn't interested in seeing what else Lauren and he were planning to do tonight. I can't believe I fell in love with a two-timing slimy prick! My first love has to break my heart. My first love has to drag my body over a sea of knives and razors, and then after my body has been torn and cut in every possible place, he stomps my corpse into the dirt and mud.

_Saved by the Bell_. The bell rang shrilly throughout the classroom, and I gathered my books before I turned to run out of the classroom into my next class; away from this one, away from the pain, away from my life, away from Edward. My clumsiness took its toll. I tripped over one of my shoelaces, and slammed into the floor. _Damn!_ I tried to pick myself up, but a pair of hands helped me to my feet.

I looked up to see a very tall boy, almost as tall as Emmett, but very close muscle-wise had helped me to my feet. He had dark tanned skin, and a broad smile across his lips. His eyes were black, and gave away no emotion; they were empty. I was surprised to see the wide smile had no effect on them. _It must just be because they are so dark._

"Are you alright?" He asked in a very deep and rough voice. I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward staring at the two of us with a very angry look on his face. I smiled bitterly at him before turning back to the boy. _Two can play at this game._

"I am _now_." I fluttered my eyelashes at him, and smiled widely. He seemed to take this as an invitation to keep talking to me, which was what I was hoping for him to do.

"I'm Jacob," he held out his hand for me, and I shook it. "Jacob Black."

My eyes widened, and I smiled at him brighter. "I'm Bella... Your dad isn't Billy Black is it? He lent it to me for the summer, but my dad ended up buying it from him when we decided I would live here." I realized I was babbling, but I saw Edward from the corner of my eye still glaring at us, and I kept looking at Jacob, with a grin on my face.

"Billy's my uncle, actually." Jacob was still holding my hand, and he held it in his hand firmly, pulling me out the door with him.

"Excuse me, Bella, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" Edward's voice was right behind me, it made my heart flutter, but I didn't allow my face to betray me. I kept Jacob's hand in mine while I turned to Edward.

"I'm sorry, can I help you with anything?" I said, causing Edward to stare at me with obvious pain in his eyes.

"I need to talk to you. _Alone_."

"Well, Jacob, I had better let you get to class. I don't want you to be late. Hey! Here's an idea! Let's trade numbers!" I swapped phones with him and quickly tapped in my number while he entered his into my phone. When we returned our phones, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. _Boy, I'm evil. That should show_ Edward _that I'm not going to just sit back and be used by someone._

Once Jacob was finally out the door, Edward grabbed my wrist and looked at me. Oh yeah. He was mad about the kiss alright.

"Look Bella, I don't know what the heck _that_ was, but it sure wasn't _you!_" his voice had too much venom in it. My eyes began to prick. Edward noticed and softened his tone, but didn't take any of the urgency from it. "Jacob is _not_ a good guy. Please don't do anything stupid with him, Bella. He is an idiot and a big jerk." Sounds like _someone_ else I know. I looked at him pointedly. He looked over my shoulder and frowned. I looked too and saw Jacob standing in the door frame, waiting for me.

"Thanks for the advice... But I think I can take care of my_self_." And with that I turned and walked out the door, taking Jacob's hand.

It turned out, Jacob had gym the same period as me, but he was with the other coach we shared the gym with. Jacob walked me to the girls' locker room, and then turned to go to the boys' to change out.

I hated being in only my underwear around a bunch of other girls, most of whom had perfectly sculpted bodies. It made me even more self conscious. I shucked on my gym shorts and shirt and tennis shoes, then power walked away from the girls.

Jacob was waiting for me again when I walked out of the locker room, and I quickly walked to his side. We didn't say anything, and the silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't nearly as comfortable as it had been with Edward. Sigh... _Edward._

We went to our separate coaches quickly so they could take attendance and make sure everyone was dressed out into proper PE clothes, and then the classes joined together to do whatever activity they wanted. Jacob and I just walked around the gym together and talked about our lives.

Jacob was really sensitive, I discovered. He was very introverted and vulnerable, but he also didn't have a big problem voicing his opinions and putting himself out there, even at the risk of being hurt. He also had a bit of a temper, but he assured me that it wasn't a problem like it used to be. His mom died when he was younger, in a car crash, and his dad died shortly afterward. Jacob thinks it was from the heart break. So now, Jacob lives with his uncle, Billy.

Something about Jacob made me want to make him happy. I _wanted_ to make him smile. I guessed that was what I noticed earlier. He has been hurt _so much_ that the smile never really reaches his eyes. _I will have to work on that,_ I promised myself.

Gym drew to a close, and I was eager to leave school. Today was overall not a good day, apart from Jacob of course. I wanted to go to my sanctuary of my bedroom, I knew tonight would be filled with saltwater stains on my pillow from my tears. I also knew my teddy bear was unfortunately going to get a lot of punches thrown at him... It really did help me relieve stress, to pound my teddy, but I always hated how torn up it looked later on. The old thing was already missing one of the buttons for its eye and it had been re-sewn so many times from the stuffing coming out, it looked like it was manufactured to look like that. You couldn't travel even an inch in any direction without seeing a stitch or a patch. But I loved my teddy to no end... I smiled at how easily distracted I was, then came back to reality.

I waved to Jacob quickly, then walked inside to slip back into my jeans and T-Shirt. When I finished, I left the room to see Jacob waiting for me again. I smiled to him and waited for the bell to ring that would allow us to escape Forks High School for the rest of the day. _Ding!_ Finally.

We began walking slowly toward the parking lot. I wasn't really very interested in talking to Jacob anymore, I actually just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to be rude in the process, so I just kept pace with him. When we were closing up the distance to the Volvo, I saw Edward and Lauren walking next to each other at the same time Edward saw me walking with Jacob. I turned back to Jacob to pretend like I was listening to whatever he was talking about, when really all I was doing underneath the fake smile was trying desperately hard to hold back my tears. Edward was my everything this summer, and now all he does is act like we never shared _anything_ together. He still had my heart, but it seems that he's already moved on... Was that kiss last night just my imagination? If it wasn't, which Edward is the real one? Will the _real_ Edward Cullen please stand up? What does Lauren have that I don't have? She's pretty, I guess. Prettier than me at least. I'm just plain old Bella. She wears too much make up. Maybe Edward likes when girls wear make up? Her clothes are too revealing. Is Edward just looking for a hookup? Not an actual relationship? Does Edward know that I _do_ want a relationship? Is that why he is ignoring me? So I won't get hurt? Maybe he still wants to be friends, but nothing more. I'd rather that than just be ignored...

So many questions were pooling in my head as I pretended to watch and listen to Jacob. So many thoughts bubbling into my brain. All of them were Edward.

I tried to focus on Jacob again. Jacob's eyes aren't warm and loving like Edward's were. Jacob has a wide nose and his nose bridge curves. Edward's nose is straight. Jacob has really full lips. Edward's were a little thinner. Jacob and Edward both have long eyelashes. Jacob's hair looks a little greasy. Edward's hair always looks freshly washed. And Edward's _scent_....

"So what do you think?" Jacob turned to me. I snapped out of my reverie and blinked. What was he talking about? What _did_ I think?

"I'm sorry, what? My brain just froze up for a little there..." I felt like an idiot.

"I just asked if you wanted to go on a date with me this Saturday. I can pick you up and we can go have some _fun_." He winked at me. I could tell from my peripheries that Edward had heard Jacob's question: The dead giveaway was when Edward stood ramrod straight. He didn't like Jacob. I remembered that.

"I would _love_ to go out with you tonight, Jacob." I smiled at him and took his hand. Jacob started leaning down toward me, his eyes beginning to close.

I had to think quickly. Usually, I would _never_ kiss someone so soon, especially in front of so many people... But I didn't want to be the only one getting hurt. I wanted to hurt Edward, even if only a little by kissing a man he hated. Jacob was a foot taller than me; I closed the distance between us by standing on my tiptoes. I pressed my lips into his.

Jacob's lips were warm and chapped, nothing like Edward's silky smooth ones; I couldn't help but make the comparisons. Jacob was also not gentle with me at all. His fingers were groping my neck, and then he began to let them ease their way down until settling into my back pockets. _Woah, there._ Jacob pressed himself closer to me and leaned us into a car we were standing next to. He forced my lips open with his and his tongue was almost violent against mine. Too much. Too much.

I pulled away from him. My face was redder than an apple. Edward was staring at me open mouthed. _At least I achieved my goal_, I thought to myself glumly. Alice and Rosalie were staring at me, too, a few paces behind Edward. Neither looked very happy with me.

I grimaced in their direction, and turned back to Jacob. I gave him a quick hug, then slipped toward the Volvo and waited for Edward to unlock the door. I glared at my reflection in the window. _What had I just done? I want to get Edward back! Not push him further away!_ I was cursing myself endlessly in my head, then Alice and Rosalie appeared beside my reflection. Watching me.

"What the _hell_ was that Bella?!" Alice whispered in a tone that obviously would have been a scream if it weren't for the people surrounding us right now.

"I don't know," I said to my feet. "I thought I was just going to make Edward jealous, because that's what he's been doing all day to me... And I just thought... Maybe he deserved a taste of his own medicine... And I don't know what came over me. But I hate myself. And now Edward hates me..." I felt the tears beginning to well up. "Jacob asked me to go on a date with him this Saturday, and I said yes... I want to be his friend, but I love _Edward. _And obviously, he doesn't love me. This whole summer was a stupid lie. I'm so stupid. Stupid," I banged my wall against the glass of the window. "Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid!_" That last one really hurt. I rubbed my head and looked up to Alice and Rosalie. Both were staring at me incredulously.

"Edward is an idiot." Rosalie said. It wasn't an encouraging gesture, it was statement of fact for her.

Edward finally arrived to the car, looked straight past me (which I was secretly grateful for, I didn't want him to see me being an idiot over him) and slid into the drivers seat gracefully. I followed his lead and sat right behind his seat, and kept my face tilted toward the ground.

Edward was scowling out the windshield.

**EPOV**

Bella. The woman I loved. The _only_ woman I loved was going on a date with the jackass _Jacob_. Huh. That's actually a good nickname. Jackass Jacob. Emmett would enjoy that one.

It wasn't a secret here in Forks High School that Jacob was only after one thing when it came to girls, and he wasn't very ashamed when he bluntly asked for it. All it took was a little bit of time and manipulation and then boom. He gets whatever he wants from girls. And he was planning on manipulating my Bella. _My_ Bella.

Sure, I had seen the look of betrayal in her wide doe eyes in biology today when she saw the text message about my plans with Lauren later. But I wasn't actually planning on doing anything with Lauren. Lauren is a slut. And I don't go for girls like that. The only reason I'm even bothering with going tonight is so Lauren wouldn't cry and make a scene like she did _last_ time...

* * * * *

_I was a sophomore and there were only a few more weeks left until summertime. Freedom for the summer. I would be spending my summer in a beach house down at La Push with my parents. This summer will ROCK!_

_"Oh Eddie-poo!" A sickly sweet voice drifted to my ears and broke through my excitement. Only one person would be _that_ eager to talk to me and use _that_ annoying voice to get my attention. I rolled my eyes and turned to see Lauren Mallory standing in front of me, leaning against my desk._

_She was obviously trying to expose her breasts to me in the process. She squealed when she discovered her bra cup size had gone from an A to a B, and she had bought many push-up bras to accentuate her "blossoming" into a woman. I stifled a laugh as she leaned her chest closer to my face, trying to tempt me to look._

_Luckily for her, even at my age, I knew how to be a gentleman. I wouldn't look even if her body _were_ more tempting. I kept eye contact and replied icily, "What can I help you with, Lauren?"_

_When I said her name, her breathing increased and she began batting her eyelashes at me, which was really not very attractive to me at all. I gagged inside my head._

_"I want you to hang out with me today." Not a request. A demand. "There will be this wild party later tonight, and I want you to be my date." I had heard about this party. Every Friday night, someone would throw a wild party full of alcohol and stupid drinking games. I wasn't a big drinker, and the thought of going with _Lauren _made me scrunch my nose in disgust._

_"No. I don't want to go, thanks." I said as politely as possible._

_Lauren's eyes started to water and her face got more and more red. "WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME? ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME?! ARE YOU AFRAID OF HOW PERFECT WE COULD BE TOGETHER?" she continued hurling accusations at me, and by the end of her rant, I felt extremely guilty, I had to escape before she could guilt me into agreeing to go with her. God knows what she will try to pull when she's intoxicated..._

* * * * *

So here I sit. I have a "date" with Lauren tonight and Bella has a date with Jacob this Saturday. I can't ask her out myself, my friends would send me into a spiraling doom if I let them know who I really am. They all think I'm athletic and just as uninteresting as they are. I can't let anyone know who I _really_ am. Only Bella can know. I will make her mine officially some day, please just don't let me be too late.

_Please, God. Let her date with Jacob suck!_ I pulled out of my parking spot when everyone was settled inside, and I drove to Bella's house to get her out of my car before I could _really_ break down. I had to put up a charade for Lauren for just an hour. Maybe less if I fake sick or something. I wasn't planning on staying there long anyway... Then, when I get home, I can go back to my room and back to locking the world out forever.

Why, Bella? _Why?_

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN.**

**What do you guys think of the story so far? Did I strikeout or get a homerun for this chapter?! Please! Feedback! I have a few people that are subscribing--which I am SO grateful for--but I have only a few reviews! Which is why I'm not updating the story until I have 5 reviews for this chapter alone! Evil, right? Maybe... But I need some reviews! *does Alice puppy-dog face* ....Please...? :(**

**I love you guys who are reading my story so far, hope you are enjoying it! I will update soon, though... Also, feel free to PM me or anything if you have ideas for me. Because I may have my general plot down, but I don't really have funny or quirky little things to add to my story. I wish there were three catagories.... It would be Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/ & Humor.... I want a funny story! Because for real--Comedy makes everyone feel _happy_!**

**I'm rambling now, aren't I. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (Let me, let me, let me.... Let me get what I want... This time. hahaha. the smiths....) REVIEW NOW. DON'T MAKE ME BEG-- _PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING!_ Haha. Norman on American Idol... *silence* Oh.... I guess I'm just a loser then.... =P**

**Well, since I'm here... I might as well tell you I am basing my story off of some more songs soon... Artists like Jump Little Children, Muse, Anthony Green, Owl City, Nickasaur, The Used, and Train. So, good bands right? Of course! :)**

**I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited...**


	7. Teaser

**Teaser chapter...**

**So I REALLY need to know if you guys are liking this story, cause I wanna write a comedy story next, but if you guys aren't enjoying this one, I could cut it short or postpone this story or something?**

**I was looking at my stats and my story went from being super popular to literally only a couple readers a day. :(**

**It made me sad! But this is also here to be a teaser to the next chapter. Please leave me reviews in this chapter telling me what you want. Because basically I will do whatever for you guys! :) I really love everyone who has subscribed to my story already and added it or me to your favorites list! Just tell me what you want because I wanna make you happy :D**

**So here is a look at next chapter:**

*** * * * ***

**The man walked right past Edward and dragged me off with him, and at the corner of the meadow, he kicked me and beat me. I screamed for Edward to help, but Edward walked away.**

**"Edward!" I screamed. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me with this man! I don't know him! Help me!" The night was becoming blacker and blacker, or maybe it was the fact that this man was not showing me any mercy, I wonder if he even heard my pleas and cries for help or my thrashing body trying to collide with anything to get this man away from me for any period of time. Edward was at the edge of the meadow. "Edward!" I called again through the blood that was beginning to pool in my mouth.**

**Edward glanced back at me with the same pathetic look on his face as the one from biology. "I can't, Bella." One single tear ran down his face before he turned away once more and continued walking away.**

*** * * * ***

**Okay, that's it for the preview! Don't forget! I need to know what you people want! Plus, I'm still holding true to last chapter's begging. I want at least 5 reviews for **_**that**_** chapter (come on guys! I have 2 already!) before I post the next one.**

**Hurry back to me! I promise the story is finally done with all the nonsense and it's finally about to get good!**


	8. Passing Time

**Hey everyone! I am SO sorry it has taken so long to update! I've had some bad writers block for _this_ story, and I have been having some awesome ideas for a new story I'm writing for fictionpress. Yeah... It's gonna be an original story! I'm excited about the new story, though! I think I'm gonna try to finish this story ASAP so I can really start working on the other story... Whenever I finish the first chapter for _that_ story, I will let you guys know, and give you the link. :) Well, let's get on with this story (again, I am REALLY sorry this chapter took so long to post! I hope you enjoy!) Please review when you're done reading! Oh-- this chapter is kinda just a filler chapter.. The REAL plot will for sure start next chapter. :) Love you all mucho!!!**

Alice and Rosalie stayed pretty mad at me the next few days in school. Edward stayed very distant from me the entire rest of the week at school, and I didn't ride with the Cullens in the mornings anymore. I drove my truck now. It wasn't that they decided to abandon me, I just told Edward on Tuesday afternoon that I would drive myself from now on... He didn't even reply verbally. He just nodded. It broke my heart.

Edward still dominates all my thoughts, but something was just off about our relationship, that much was very obvious to the both of us. I don't know why everything is happening between the two of us this way, but it is. My heart still belongs to Edward, and I no longer have a hold on his... That's fine, I guess. I only wish I could rewind my life back to summertime when Edward and I were happy.

I longed to embrace Edward. I longed to talk to Edward. Hell, I longed to just be able to look at Edward and him gaze back at me. Any time we _did_ lock eyes, his were always dead. There was no light in them; only sadness, regret, and betrayal.

That's what I am now to everyone I suppose... A traitor. Everyone was mad at me for the whole Jacob thing, and I was pretty mad at myself, too. But something about Jacob made me not want to cancel the date. He really is a nice guy, and what's one little date? Afterward I can just tell him we can just be friends. Beside, what was Edward's problem with Jacob anyway. I bet they don't even remember what the issue was. A fight in Kindergarten over who stole whose cookies? One was having a bad day and looked at the other wrong? Probably something immature and shallow like that. No big deal.

Of all my problems throughout the day, one class was the hardest. I could talk to everyone at lunch normally--if that's what you want to call it because it had only been two days after all--for the most part. I could deal with seeing the Volvo in the morning across the lot and see Edward scowling at the ground and Alice giving me a questioning look every morning. I could even deal with my jealousy with Lauren... But I could not deal with biology.

Wednesday was very hard.

* * * * *

_I walked into the biology room after a very awkward lunch with Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper. No one really talked; everyone just sat around and ate until the bell rang and everyone left for class. I had taken my time in the hallway, and was one of the last ones in the room._

_The first person I noticed was Jacob. He was smiling the smile that didn't touch his eyes, and I kind of grimaced back... I hadn't smiled at all yet today._

_The second person I noticed was really the only person in the world who matters. Do I even need to say his name? Edward. He had his head on his desk, and he didn't look up when I sat down next to him. I just watched him while he laid his head on his half of the desk. I felt terrible. He must hate me._

_I tapped him on the shoulder. I just _needed_ to see his eyes. I needed to see his face._

_He looked up at me with an expression I knew would haunt me at night whenever I thought about him. His eyes were completely vulnerable as he looked up. He looked a little scared that I would hurt him or something. I studied his face. His eyebrows were tugging upward in the middle, giving him an irresistible basset hound-like look. I whimpered a little. His eyes were red like he hadn't slept last night or he had been crying a little, possibly both. _What have I done?!

_"Edward..." I didn't know what to say. I reached out to his hand and tried to take it in mine, but he moved his arm away before I could grab it, and just laid his head back down._

_"I can't, Bella." he whispered. "I can't talk to you right now..."_

_My heart felt ice cold. He just gave it back to me, but instead of just handing it to me, he threw it and it fell in a bucket of dry ice. My heart felt numb and dead. What have I done?_

* * * * *

That was the last time Edward has spoken to me. Today is Saturday. I've been awake for about an hour now, but I can't get out of bed yet. Tears have been streaming relentlessly down my face before I even had the chance to open my eyes. It probably started during my dream.

My dream was beautiful and perfect in the beginning. Edward and I were in our meadow, just holding each other. The sun was in the sky high above us and it was shining for Edward and I. It was summertime again, and we were both carefree and in love. I didn't have to pretend in the dream, I could just love him and he could just love me.

The dream Edward was different from the real Edward though. His skin sparkled in the sunlight. Rainbows cast off his skin in beautiful rays of the light. He held me to his chest, and we didn't do anything but talk. I was so blissfully happy.

The ruining factor of my dream? Suddenly, Edward and I weren't alone anymore. We noticed it at the same time because a tall figure with tanned skin was standing above us. He had no face. Where his eyes, nose, and mouth should be was completely blank. Only the dark skin covered it like the rest of his body. He was obviously Native American though, from his skin tone and his hair.

The faceless man began striding toward Edward and I, and Edward stood up quickly, pulling me up behind him. I would stay with Edward all day, and he knew that. Or so I thought.

The man walked right past Edward and dragged me off with him, and at the corner of the meadow, he kicked me and beat me. I screamed for Edward to help, but Edward walked away.

"Edward!" I screamed. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me with this man! I don't know him! Help me!" The night was becoming blacker and blacker, or maybe it was the fact that this man was not showing me any mercy, I wonder if he even heard my pleas and cries for help or my thrashing body trying to collide with anything to get this man away from me for any period of time. Edward was at the edge of the meadow. "Edward!" I called again through the blood that was beginning to pool in my mouth.

Edward glanced back at me with the same pathetic look on his face as the one from biology. "I can't help you, Bella." One single tear ran down his face before he turned away once more and continued walking away.

I woke up screaming and five words rang in my ears and I tried to block them out of my ears with my hands, but they still echoed.

The sky outside my window was light grey, the only color it seemed that I would be seeing for a while. Today is Saturday. Today is the mysterious date with Jacob. I shuddered. I don't really want to go on a date with Jacob, I want to be with Edward. _Why am I an idiot?_ I asked myself hoping some greater power would reply to my question. I sighed and walked over to my bathroom and took a nice warm shower, letting the hot streams soak all over my skin and calming my muscles from being stiff from the intensity of the dream.

I took a lot of time; lathering, rinsing, and repeating the process with my strawberry shampoo through my hair about five times. I washed my body three times, then shaved my legs twice. The look on Edward's face from my dream kept replaying in my head like a PowerPoint slide on repeat. I tried to literally shake my head violently a lot, but the image remained behind my closed eyelids.

I stepped out of the shower slowly and dried off my body before slipping into a new pair of underwear and a bra. I dried my hair like that, watching my reflection in the mirror with disgust. _Maybe Jacob will be worth it? Maybe I am supposed to be with him instead of Edward. Edward was just a summer fling, right? _It wasn't really like Edward had made it a point to even be my _friend_ lately, so maybe this is fate trying to tell me to wake up from the summer romance, and just move on with my life.

The steam from my shower had caused my mirror to fog, and there was only a little steam left over on the very top of my mirror. _EDWARD_. I wrote the word with my finger very slowly so I could watch the letters make their shape. I drew a heart around his name.

I lost track of time, standing there in the bathroom clad in only my undergarments and staring at the steam on the mirror until it faded and I could faintly see the outline of his name. _I gave you my heart. I love you so much, Edward. I want you to be happy, even if it means not being with me. I love you. I love you enough to stay away from you and be with Jacob. I can do this... For you._ I breathed in deeply and stared at my face again in the mirror.

So plain. Nothing to captivate Edward for more than just a summer. Eyes that lack interest. What I wouldn't give to have lighter eyes. Any other color... Just not _brown_. _Lauren_ has _blue_ eyes. Maybe he likes _blue_ eyes. I frowned at myself. So plain. I started looking down at the rest of my body. My breasts were small. Lauren didn't necessarily have large breasts, but she wore only push-up bras and low cut shirts so she could show off her chest. That might be it, too. Lauren is curvier than I am. I have about as many curves as a soda can.

_What am I thinking?_ _Edward loved me for the way I was. He didn't care about what color my eyes were or how curvy my body was or what cup size I wore. I'm being stupid. Again. Maybe Lauren is a smart person after all. I can't do anything to try to hurt Lauren again. If Edward wants her, I won't cut in between their relationship. I can show him we can be friends... Just. Friends._

I sighed and walked to my room. Charlie was already gone for the day, so I wasn't worried about him seeing me wearing almost zero clothes. I glanced at my phone and saw the light was flashing, indicating a text message.

My heart prayed it would be Edward. Edward was the one I wanted right now. _Please be Edward. Please._ I opened my phone. It was from Jacob. I scowled slightly and read it.

_Pick you up in thirty!_

The text was sent about ten minutes ago. Twenty minutes until Jacob arrives... It was only about 11:15.

I went through my closet and decided to wear an electric blue sun dress with a white cami underneath. I slipped on my favorite black gladiator sandals and strapped them on. I looked myself up and down and decided this was as good as it was going to get. A black vest in my closet caught my eye. _Actually, I think that vest would look really cute, too._ I slipped it on and left it unbuttoned so the front of the dress was visible. **(outfit on profile!)** I smiled at the outfit. It actually looked pretty good. I dabbed on a little makeup underneath my eyes in an attempt to rid them of the dark circles from my lack of sleep.

I pulled a comb through my already dry hair (the bathroom stare contest must have taken longer than I thought) and walked downstairs and grabbed an apple to munch on while I waited for Jacob.

Only a few minutes later, Jacob pulled into my driveway and came to my porch. He was wearing the smile that didn't reach his eyes. _Great_. _I love a man with absolutely depthless eyes (in the sense that the depth goes on infinitely) which I could stare into for the rest of my life, but Jacob can't allow one little glance of any emotion into his. Complete opposites. Whatever... I'm doing this for Edward._

I opened the door and watched as his eyes actually did let in an emotion as his eyes raked over my body. Lust. His eyes went from my feet up to face and back down again. I noticed how his eyes lingered at my breasts for a few seconds more than necessary, and also where my dress met my thighs. He licked his lips nervously before taking my hand and pulling me to his car. He didn't open my door for me, like a part of me was expecting since I was so used to Edward... I refused to let myself think of him for the rest of the day. Today is to be a better friend with Jacob. Not Edward...

Jacob turned on the stereo and began to drive. There was no conversation the entire ride, but at about 12:00, we arrived at our final location.

I looked up a bit apprehensively at the sign while Jacob paid for our tickets. I was glad to see it was only twenty dollars total for the both of us. We were at a place called "Olympic Game Farm." We were at a zoo. Animals. Animals that _smell_ bad. Great...

Jacob reached for my hand again and began pulling me along behind him. Our first stop was the bathroom.

"I really want to try to see all the animals without stopping, so..." He gestured to the bathroom. "Make it count, Bella." He winked at me.

I smiled a little at him and walked to the bathroom to try and force myself to pee. I walked out and washed my hands quickly before leaving to join Jacob.

"Okay! I love this zoo so much! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" He sounded like a little boy and he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him again.

We started at the far right of the zoo and made our way around, looking at every animal and trying to see something random or interesting that was happening inside each cage.

First were the bird animals. Geese, ducks, and peacocks were the main animals. I giggled furiously when a duck and a peacock began chasing after a poor goose and causing it to trip over its oversized feet. Next, we watched a couple of llamas that were screaming at each other and then bucking their legs into the others face. We laughed as one of the llamas retreated behind a tree, then tried the element of surprise, but ended up only surprising itself by running into their food supply and completely knocking over the water container.

The white rhinos were _huge!_ And even bigger were their massive piles of dung. I scrunched my nose when one of the rhinos turned its back on us and lifted its tail right in my face. Jacob was doubled over pointing at me and laughing. That was when he went to a souvenir shop to buy a disposable camera claiming he didn't want to "miss the priceless look on my face when an animal decides to take a dump right in my face." I rolled my eyes at that comment but laughed anyways at how much he was enjoying himself. His eyes actually had a little bit of life in them. _Happiness_.

The zebras were beautiful, as were the deer. The yaks were a little boring. All were sleeping except for one baby yak that was prancing around between the snoozing bodies. I smiled at how sweet the image was and got Jacob to take a picture of him.

The bears were really intense. A couple were fighting each other when we walked up, and Jacob of course snapped some shots of them. I hurried away from them as quickly as possible though, I wouldn't admit this to Jacob, but I was really scared.

There were a bunch of ostriches and emus next. We really enjoyed watching those because whenever Jacob made a loud noise, they would duck their heads into the dirt. I clapped for them because it was so humorous to watch. Jacob snapped a picture of me clapping with a huge smile on my face with the birds in the dirt in the background.

The elk were about as boring as the yaks were, and the final animals were bison. The bison were huge, but they reminded me of the wildebeest in Lion King that killed Mufasa. Jacob would not let me live down the fact that I was actually starting to tear up at that. I elbowed him in the stomach and kept walking.

When we were about to approach the exit, Jacob spotted a petting zoo. He grabbed my hand and yanked me over to the gate, and pulled me inside of the pen.

Jacob practically ran to where you could feed the goats and stood over there for a really long time and laughed loudly when the goats' lips would brush against the palm of hand and tickled him. I took a seat on a block of hay and watched Jacob. If he was having fun, that's all that mattered.

I was off in La-La Land up until I felt something brushing against my calves. I looked down and saw a very small lamb wobbling next to my leg. It was obvious that this little tyke was a newborn, and he seemed even smaller than the other lambs in the petting zoo.

"That little fella is Isaac. You want to feed him?" I looked up to see a very tan woman in khaki shorts and a green polo with the zoo's logo on it. I smiled and nodded. I picked up Isaac and held him close to my chest as the woman gave me a bottle to feed him with.

"My name is Emily." The woman smiled at me and sat next to me.

"Bella." I replied with a smile, not taking my eyes off of Isaac. "He is so adorable!"

Emily laughed. "Yeah, he really is. He's about two weeks old, and he's still really scrawny compared to all the other animals... But he seems to get the most affection out of all the animals in the zoo."

I watched as Isaac's eyes fluttered and then closed. I beamed.

"Hey, Emily?" I whispered. "Isaac fell asleep..."

Jacob came up then and asked if I was ready to go. I nodded and gave Isaac back over to Emily before waving at her and leaving with Jacob.

The drive home was quiet. I was pretty tired after the day at the zoo, but I was glad that Jacob seemed to have relaxed around me finally.

When he pulled up to my house and I was about to let myself out, he grabbed my wrist and looked into my eyes. I saw a brief flicker of emotion in there that looked a little bit hostile, but I pushed the thought away when he started talking to me very softly.

"Bella. I want you to be my girlfriend. Will you? I can make you happy and I can take care of you." His eyes were blank of all emotion. I thought back to this morning when I told myself I would leave Edward alone if it made him happy... Jacob was willing to help me with that, and maybe Jacob could really help me to get over Edward...

I nodded and Jacob smiled widely, his teeth glistening off of the setting sun but his eyes still lacked emotion. I sighed internally; I was hoping that maybe I could get some emotion out of him like I had earlier.

Jacob kissed my cheek and I got out of the car quickly. I didn't want to waste any time to regret the decision I had just made with Jacob. Accepting to be his girlfriend meant _not_ being Edward's girlfriend. But Edward _wants _me to stay away from him. That much is obvious.

_This is for Edward. This is for Edward. For Edward..._ _I still love you, Edward._

_Edward_. I sat on the couch in the living room, unable to walk up the stairs to my room, and sat there to let the numb feeling completely take over my body.

Edward was going to move on without me. And here I sat, trying to make him happy... _Trying to make Jacob happy, too._ Everyone was happy... Everyone except me.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek involuntarily. I wiped it away and went back to being numb.

I caught sound of the ticking of the grandfather clock, marking each second I spent without Edward. _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

_Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward._

_Don't forget me._

**Hope you liked it!!! PLEASE REVIEW!! I love you people :) Have an awesome day! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can.**


	9. Strange Allies With Warring Hearts

**Hey everyone. I'm trying to get these chapters out quicker so I can finish up this whole story. I really wanna start a story for fictionpress, but I don't want to just abandon this story. As promised, the drama really starts in the story. Hope you all enjoy the chapter... I wrote it pretty quickly once I started actually writing it. This chapter has been in my head since before I started writing the story. ***I JUST UPDATED THE ENDING. Read it please. Happy St. Patty's Day everyone! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AFTER YOU'RE DONE! Bites and Kisses. ;)**

Chapter 8

Those precious minutes of sitting on that couch and trying to get myself together so the pain of being without Edward seemed to melt away into the unknown. I lost track of time for a while. The minutes faded into hours, hours faded into days, and days eventually faded into months... And those months didn't help my heart.

Jacob ended up falling in love with me, or so he said. I lied to him and said I loved him, too. Edward didn't talk to me anymore unless I was at his house and it was absolutely necessary for him to. Alice and Rosalie knew all about the convoluted workings of my heart and mind, they disagreed with the entire situation, but I wouldn't let them talk me into breaking up with Jacob and trying to talk to Edward. I had to beg them when they found out to keep this between us. Alice was extremely upset with me for letting all of the wonderful memories from summer go just like that, and winding up with a guy like Jacob.

Jacob has been pretty cool for the past two months. We just celebrated our two-month anniversary last week, and he took me to La Push beach for a candlelit picnic on the shore. I would never admit this to anyone, hardly to myself, but I imagined it was Edward with me instead of Jake.

Yes. Edward still has my heart, no matter how much I try to convince myself and everyone else around me otherwise.

Right now, I am driving over to Jacob's and his Uncle Billy's house to spend the entire day there. I had bought some pizza and a two-liter bottle of Coke for us to share while we hung out lazily in his house.

When I pulled up into the small house, I almost collided with Billy who was walking out right as I was about to knock.

"Oh, hey Bella." He said in his deep and husky voice with a huge smile.

I waved back and gave him a quick side hug. "How's it going, Billy?"

"Oh, everything is going alright. I assume you are here to entertain my nephew?" He eyed the pizza and Coke in my hands enviously. I laughed.

"Yep. Bella Swan! Reporting for duty, sir!" I gave him a quick salute.

"Well, you kids have fun and try not to get into too much trouble! I'll be back before sunset! I'm going _fishing_!" His eyes emanated happiness when he spoke of his plans for the day.

I waved him off before turning into the house and calling for Jacob. After about thirty seconds, Jake came running around the corner and wrapped me in a big bear hug. I laughed and patted him on what part of his back I could actually reach.

"So. I was thinking, we could eat dinner first, and then maybe we could do something else?" The implication in his voice was very thick, but I decided to blow it off. Jake and I weren't at that stage in our relationship, yet. I wasn't ready to give my virginity to someone who I knew I didn't love. Sure, Jake and I had this conversation a few times, and they all always ended the same. No love, no sex.

I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes. "I hope that by _something else_, you mean watching a movie or play Scrabble." He chuckled a little but didn't respond.

I grabbed myself a slice of pizza and sat down at the table to start eating it. Jake got himself four slices and sat down next to me, smiling. I tried to smile back but this was one of those moments where I can't help but think about Edward.

I heard him stand up and start rummaging through the cabinets and open the fridge, but I didn't look up. He came back and set a cup in front of me and took a large swig of his cup while watching me closely. I picked up my own cup, still kind of oblivious to the world, and sipped at my drink before spitting it out over the table.

"_Jake_?! What the hell? This is beer!"

Jacob laughed and nodded.

"I don't drink and you know that." I frowned at him.

He shrugged but didn't say anything and definitely didn't look sorry.

I rolled my eyes at him and stood up to get myself some coke to wash out the disgusting taste in my mouth. I felt Jake's eyes on me, but I didn't want to face him. This was another of those times I wished I were with Edward... But I _had _to keep telling myself about how he _wanted_ this for me, and he _wanted_ us to stay distant the way we were. I wanted more than anything to just talk to him. He ignored me in class, and with that close contact in biology, my heart was screaming at him to notice me. For the most part though, we sat in total silence and pretended to ignore the other (at least that's how it was on my side).

"Bella, what the hell are you thinking so hard about?" Jake pulled me from my reverie, and he sounded a bit annoyed. I just shook my head at him. This was something he caught me doing a lot, but he never really knew _what_--or rather _who_--he caught me thinking about. Only Alice and Rose knew about my infatuation issue with Edward, and I intended on keeping it that way.

I felt two strong arms wrapping around my waist, and I stiffened at his embrace. His body was always really hot... And not in an attractive way. His skin felt like he had a fever, every day... He just said it was something just about every Quileute man has the same temperature, so it isn't anything to get worked up about.

Jake picked me up from my spot in front of the counter, and took me into his bedroom. I wasn't surprised that was where we were headed because Jake has a nice TV in there. He set me down on the bed and turned to go to the door. I heard the lock click and I looked up at him in question.

Before I could hardly get my eyes up to meet his, he was practically on top of me, kissing me fiercely. Another comparison to Edward: Jake was never really _gentle_ with me. I just went along with it and reminisced on my wonderful memories with Edward...

I felt Jake trying to unbutton my jeans, and I tried to push his hand away. He hit my wrist away, hard. I started actually paying attention to what was going on in this situation, and I could taste strong alcohol on Jake's tongue. I pulled away from his face and turned my head.

"Jacob." I said it angrily, and it was enough to get him to stop completely and look at me. "We are _not_ doing this."

"Bella, don't do something you will regret."

"No. I won't regret anything because we aren't gonna do _anything_." I pushed him away a little more. "I'm not ready for this in our relationship, and if you cared about me at all, you would respect that choice."

He snorted and slapped me across my face.

I yelped a little at the surprise attack. "_What was that for?!"_ I screeched. The room was spinning a little from the force his hand had brought, and I could feel my eyes starting to water.

"I told you not to do something you will regret." Jake said calmly.

I was in the process of trying to do something, _anything_, that would get him off of me so I could leave. He was just drunk... He didn't mean to do this. I wasn't too interested in hanging out with him for right now if this was the way he was going to treat me. He noticed my struggle and pushed me down onto the bed and climbed over my body.

He punched my eye and I started really crying. _What is going on?_ He continued slapping me, punching me, scratching my arms and face, and screaming at me to stop trying to get away. I kept yelling at him to get off of me and leave me alone, but that only brought on more violence from him.

Jacob pulled away a little, and dug in his front pocket for a little. I thought maybe he was going to stop tormenting me like this, until I saw what he was trying to get from his pocket. In his hand was a pocketknife. I stared up at him with wide eyes and started crying harder.

"Jake..." I said as loudly as I could through my tears. "Please don't do this... Please."

"Bella. You know what I want and what I told you. Are you going to listen to me, or am I going to have to hurt you? I don't like hurting you, Bella. I love you very much..."

I continued crying, but I closed my eyes tightly shut and I nodded slowly.

I heard the knife flick shut, and the sound of clothes dropping to the floor, but I didn't want to see Jacob. I felt his fingers unbutton my jeans and toss them to the floor. His hands were too hot, and very uncomfortable against my skin.

I whimpered a little when I felt his weight next to me on the bed, and shut my eyes as tightly as I possibly could. All I could think of was that dream I had a little over two months ago... The strange man with no face... It was Jacob. _EDWARD! HELP ME! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL!_

* * * * *

Pain. Probably the most physical thing I feel right now. My entire body was sore, and all up and down my arms and legs were covered in bruises and scratches. My face was probably the worst though. I had a huge black eye and scratches going across the left side of my face from my eye down to my jaw. It wasn't obvious from the outside and someone who didn't notice the little things, but it was obvious to me that a lot of hair had been pulled out. I was standing in the bathroom, looking myself over, still completely naked, while _Jacob_ slept on the bed. My eyes still leaked many tears, but they looked dead. Like _his_ eyes always are, only mine weren't lustful.

Embarrassment. I just lost my virginity to someone I didn't love and someone I didn't even really want to be with. He took away all dignity I had built up in my life in those moments I was cursing inside. _Why me? What did I do to deserve this. _Personally, I thought my life was going good up until about an hour ago. I could hardly look at my reflection without being ashamed with my life.

Fear. Would this happen again? What would happen when he woke up? I decided I didn't really want to know. I planned on getting out of here as soon as I possibly can and getting home to Charlie... Oh _crap_. Charlie is the Chief of Police! He has a _gun_. How am I supposed to hide my face from him? I need to come up with a story to tell him...

Hatred. How could I even remotely trust Jacob, and then he does this to me? I hate him for what he did... But what would he do if I tried to end it completely with him? I touched my swollen eye. _What do I do?!_

Lovesick. God, I miss Edward. I feel like now more than ever. I had completely convinced that Edward and I had something unbreakable. If he hadn't shunned me that first day, none of this would have happened. How could we have shared that moment at his house that night--and it seemed _so long_ ago--but the very next day, he is completely ignorant of me. I miss him. I love him. I _need _him right now.

I looked back at myself in the mirror, cringing visibly at all of the damage on my face. After a few minutes, I knew what I needed to do.

I opened the door slowly and quietly and peeked around the frame to see a sleeping Jacob sprawled across the bed, snoring loudly. I screamed at him inside my head, calling him a million terrible names, and tiptoed to where my clothes were laying on the floor. Every movement screamed throughout my body in pain, but I ignored it as best I could to carry my clothes back into the bathroom to get dressed. My phone was still in the pocket of my jeans and I looked at the time.

Seven o'clock. I had a couple of hours before Charlie would expect me to be home. I had to do this quickly.

I tiptoed out of Jacob's room, and then out of his house. I sprinted to my car and twisted the key into the ignition. The truck roared to life and I prayed I could get out of here soon enough to be out of the neighborhood before Jacob could get dressed and out of bed. Knowing him, he would just throw on a pair of shorts and chase me down in his Volkswagen Rabbit. I had to get out of here fast.

I threw the truck in reverse and sped quickly out of his neighborhood and down the road. I sighed in relief when I noticed Jacob hadn't followed after me.

Finally, I arrived to my destination.

I hadn't been here in a month or so, Alice and Rose had gotten distant with me with my growing relationship with Jacob. I prayed Alice was home, I couldn't face Charlie yet and I needed to talk to _someone_.

I pounded on the door as loudly as I could, but couldn't head any response inside the house. _Silence_.

My eyes brimmed with water again and I sat down on the porch steps, facing away from the door. Alice isn't here. I have to go home to Charlie... Charlie will kill me, then bring me back to clean up the crime scene, and then go kill Jacob and make me clean that up, too.

"Bella? What are you doing--" I heard a soft and velvet voice behind me, but when I turned to look up at Edward, he stopped mid-sentence and stared at me wide-eyed.

"Oh my God. What happened to you?" He whispered, eyes still wide.

"Edward." I couldn't say anything else. My sobs took over my voice and I cried harder as I looked up at him. He was beautiful as ever. I wouldn't even allow myself to blink. I needed to look at him. I needed to see him. I needed him so much.

My vision blurred a little and I tried to wipe at my eyes, but when I touched the bruised one, it hurt like hell, and I started crying even harder. I felt strong arms scoop me up bridal style, and I leaned into Edward's body as he carried me inside.

"Wh-where's Alice?" I said as loudly as I could.

"Alice, Emmett and my parents are out camping for the weekend... It's just me here..." He took me into the kitchen and sat me down on the counter. I watched him as he walked to the freezer, open it, and grab an ice pack out. He walked back to me and stood between my legs and looked at my face with a pained expression. He gently pressed the ice against my face and watched as I cringed at the sudden coldness.

"Tell me what happened." He commanded. His eyes looked up and down my body. I would have felt uncomfortable, but I remembered how bruised and scratched up I was. He took my hand and squeezed it a little, encouraging me to tell my story. With his other hard, he lightly traced the outline of one of the bruises on my forearm with his index finger. Edward still really had no idea how much just a simple act of friendship made my heart soar.

"I... I uh... I fell. In a thorn bush. Then I tripped over a rock and fell down a hill..." I mumbled, looking down at our intertwined hands.

Edward bent his head down so he could look up into my eyes. "Oh no. Are you alright, Bella? I hope those thorns didn't hurt you too badly. Now here's an idea. How about you tell me what _really_ happened?"

"I got raped." I whispered. I closed my eyes and kept my head bent down. Edward's body tensed next to me and rubbed away the tears I didn't realize had fallen. My eyes were sore from how often I had been crying today, and I wish that just for once I could control my emotions. I didn't want Edward to see me cry like this.

"Bella. Please tell me that's another joke? It isn't funny if you are joking with me." I opened my eyes and saw his eyes wild with emotions I couldn't understand. I shook my head slowly and whimpered pathetically.

"No. It really happened." I mumbled.

"Who?" His voice was so low it was barely audible.

I sniffled and looked up at him. I didn't want to be a stupid tattletale. Lord knows what Jacob would do if he found out about me telling Edward this... But Edward looked so desperate to know, how could I deny him anything? "Jacob."

That was really all it took. Edward ripped his hand from mine and began pacing back and forth in the kitchen. He mumbled under his breath and I could barely make out "jackass" "idiot" "disgusting" and "Jacob." My hand was cold from the lack of Edward's hand warming mine easily. I stood up and walked to where Edward was standing, looking out the window, and I wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Edward." I waited for him to turn around to look at me. "I miss you. I'm sorry about whatever I did to make you distant. I'm sorry about ignoring you when you warned me about Jacob. I'm so sorry." I whispered the last part. Tears were soaking into his shirt, but I was past being embarrassed about crying around him.

"I'm sorry, too, Bella. But you don't need to apologize to me anymore. We really need to get you to the hospital though. First off, we need to get the law involved with all of this mess, and second, we need to get you tested for STD's and pregnancy... I would let you shower, because I'm sure you feel absolutely disgusting right now, but the doctors need to get you checked out down _there_," he eyed my crotch skeptically, making me blush, "And once everything is over, we can come back here and you can tell me the full story, and then I will try my best not to kill him when I see him on Monday." I smiled weakly at him, and turned to walk outside to where my truck was parked.

"Bella?" I turned to look back at him. "Charlie is head of police... You should call him and tell him to meet you at the hospital, this is serious, okay?" I nodded again and turned back around.

"Oh, and Bella?" I turned back to look at him again. "Let's not do the no-talking thing again. We can be friends."

**OKAYYYY!! REVIEW NOW! Thanks to AdaBella for pointing out the steps I needed to take to help get Jacob in trouble! Haha. I love you people. I wanna know what you people think of this side of Jacob! And Edward is back in the game!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)**


	10. Keep Holding On

**Hello everyone, I'm SO sorry I've been gone so long! I have another account on (DoodleStarsandHearts), and I have been more into the stories on there. Don't worry though, I haven't given up on this story. I just kinda lost interest in Edward and Bella. But I'm REALLY into Draco and Hermione (Harry Potter, in case you didn't know) and I think I might start a story for them? I know I'm REALLY multitasking, but I have a bit of ADD, so I can't just focus on one single story at a time. I need multiple things to work on, and the stories will sort themselves out in time. I don't know how much longer this story will be, but it will be at least a few more chapters, maybe more if I get inspired enough. I keep trying to force myself to finish this chapter, but it just HASN'T been working out for me. I'm gonna troop through it though and get it out. It's been TOO LONG!! Sorry again for the long wait!**

Chapter 9: Keep Holding On

I had to let Edward drive me to the hospital. I wanted to be in the comfort of my truck on the way there, but Edward insisted we take the Volvo since it was about three times faster. We were speeding through the town at an extremely quick pace, and I couldn't really complain. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. I wasn't very interested in having doctors probe at my vagina, and even worse, Edward was the one taking me. This wasn't the kind of reunion I was wanting with him. I'd so much rather being here by myself, but honestly, I didn't have a clue what I was doing. If it were up to me, I'd be showered squeaky clean, and just be watching a movie or something. I felt dirty, and I didn't like it at all.

We pulled into the hospital fairly quickly, and Edward told me to sit down while he grabbed the paperwork for me at the reception desk. He came back and let me fill out the papers while he watched some random show on the waiting room television set.

I finished filling everything out, and turned in the clipboard to the front desk, then rejoined Edward.

Right when I sat down beside him, I looked down at my hands and began twiddling my thumbs around each other. Edward wrapped his right arm around my shoulders, pulled me closer to him, and took one of my hands in his left. The warmth of his touch sent butterflies up and down my spine and coursed through my veins. I inhaled deeply to breathe in his amazing scent, and closed my eyes for a while, enjoying the moment.

I woke up to hear an unfamiliar voice calling my name and Edward gently shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the fluorescents of the hospital. _Damn. It wasn't just a dream._ I frowned to myself, then stood up to follow the nurse down the hall into a room.

She handed me one of those ugly hospital gowns, and told me to put it on and to open the door when she has it on completely. I nodded and watched as she pushed Edward out of the room and closed the door behind her.

I undressed quickly and put all my clothes in a pile on the floor, then slipped into the papery gown. I felt really awkward having my backside completely exposed, so I tied the knot over my shoulder so my butt wouldn't be showing when the doctor walked in... Or worse, Edward.

I opened the door quickly, then ran to sit back down on the bed.

Edward walked in first, and sat in a chair next to me, followed shortly by the nurse.

The nurse did all the normal procedures first: Check my temperature, check my heart rate, check my reflexes, check my eyes and ears out, look in my throat, and check my blood pressure. She wrote everything down on a clipboard.

The nurse didn't say very much, but then looked over all of the bruises and scratches covering my body. She _tsk_-ed a few times as she looked at some of the larger bruises, and when she had to look under my gown at the bruises covering my front and backside, Edward politely turned his head away.

After she finished looking me over and writing down all of the cuts and bruises, she grabbed my underwear and put it in a plastic bag. I blushed furiously when I glanced over at Edward who was staring at the pile of lace in the bag with wide eyes and an open mouth.

She took my panties out of the room with her after mumbling that she would return shortly, and closed the door behind her again.

I looked at Edward with scared eyes, and he still looked at me with wide ones.

"What are you staring at me like that for?" I asked skeptically.

Edward just shook his head and closed his mouth, but still stared at me curiously. A smirk slowly began playing on his perfect lips. _My GOD those lips!_ "I just never expected you would be the type of girl to wear lacey underwear day-to-day."

I blushed deeper and muttered, "They were the only pair that was clean today."

We sat in silence for about fifteen minutes, me looking at my hands for the most part (when I wasn't looking at my hands, I was stealing side glances at Edward), and Edward looking at me the entire time as if I were a live dinosaur, come back through a time machine. Every time I would see him watching me, I would blush, and then turn my head back away from him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the nurse returned with a cart full of instruments of torture. I shut my eyes really tight and took Edward's hand in mine. I refused to have my eyes open for this. I felt him rub soothing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.

I felt them tie something right above my elbow crease pretty tightly so the vein could pop out a little and make it easier to stick in the--_gulp_--needle. My palms felt really sweaty, but I only held Edward's hand even tighter. I felt them wipe something soft and cold and wet over the crease in my elbow and I was holding Edward's hand so tightly, I was sure our hands were both red, but I didn't take the chance to open my eyes and look. I felt a pinch that hurt a little, but I was expecting that to happen. It wasn't the pain I was afraid of. It was the blood.

I felt the syringe suck out some of my blood, and that part felt really weird, but otherwise I ignored the fact that blood was coming out of my body and it was extremely unwanted. I took a little breath through my nose by mistake, and smelled the rusty scent of blood. _My_ blood. I felt a little woozy, but I then I went to only breathing through my mouth.

Finally, when I felt the nurse put a piece of cotton over the injection sight and tap my shoulder, I opened my eyes.

"Do you want a certain color of gauze wrap?" the nurse asked politely, but her eyes looked a bit taunting at my nausea.

"Blue, I guess." I mumbled. She nodded and came back with a very pretty shade of royal blue, and wrapped it tightly against the cotton ball that was still on my arm.

"Final task of today," The nurse began. "I need to get you checked out and see if there is anything unusual, and I need to get a few swabs to see if we can pick anything up that might be an STD or any semen from your perpetrator." I stared at her for a while with a confused expression, until she stretched plastic gloves over her fingers and pushed me back down on the cot. _Oh. My. God._ "Alright, now put your feet in these little holders..." She helped me place my feet in the right spots and lifted my gown a little. I looked to Edward in desperation, and he was standing next to my head, looking intently at my face with a distant look. Hell, I would look distant too if he was standing there while some random nurse scopes out my private area. I watched him and he watched me until the probing was finished and the nurse folded the gown back to protect my crotch.

"Alright, Ms. Swan. That's all we need to do for today, you're free to go home and rest. We will call you when the results come back, please rest up, and maybe you should stay out of school for a while to get your emotional and mental strength back up to normal. You can change back into your clothes, but I need to keep the panties to see if we can get anything that can identify your attacker for legal purposes." She gave me a small sympathetic smile and walked out of the room. Edward pulled me up from the cot and glanced at my clothes, then followed the nurse out of the room.

_See if we can get anything that can identify your attacker for legal purposes_... Of course I knew who my attacker was. _Jacob_. Thinking about him brought back all the pain and embarrassment I had felt from earlier today. _Had it really only been a few hours? It seems like so much longer._

I put on my clothes and tried to ignore the discomfort of not wearing any underwear, and walked out to meet Edward.

He took my hand immediately and without hesitation, and walked me back to his car. He opened my door, which my heart screamed about in pleasure, and then slid into his seat before starting the ignition which seemed to thunder into the night.

The drive home was quiet and a little tense, which was perfectly understandable seeing as we haven't spoken in a few months, plus the fact that I showed up on his doorstep today looking like an absolute wreck, and Edward has been absolutely amazing to me ever since he had seen me at my weakest. I really owed him for that.

I closed my eyes and inhaled extremely deeply to completely take in his wonderful scent. God knows how much I missed that smell. It was absolutely perfect. Not just for him, but for anyone. The men who made _Axe _body spray wish they could duplicate the smell.

"Bella? What are you doing?" I opened my eyes and realized Edward had stopped the car in front of his house already and was staring at me like I was an idiot. I blushed deeply and shook my head.

I got out of the car quickly and ran up the porch steps to wait for him next to the door. He opened it for me and smiled. "You can go shower now." The sentence was all it took and I made a beeline straight to the bathroom joined with Alice's room, stripped out of my clothes, and showered, washing every part of my body vigorously to relieve myself from all of the disgusting germs and memories that were suffocating me.

I finished my shower and stepped out, enjoying the cool air on my skin, and wrapped a towel around my body and let my hair hang around my shoulders to air dry. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into Alice's bedroom.

Edward was standing next to her dresser, staring at it. None of the drawers were opened, he was just staring at the piece of furniture and frowning.

"Everything okay, Edward?" I smirked.

"I am just not sure if I _want_ to open Alice's drawer..." He sighed and turned to look at me for the first time since I had walked in. He sucked in a deep breath of air as he looked at me, only looking below my face once, then training his eyes on mine. I blushed and apologized quietly.

"Bella, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one invading your privacy... I'm sorry, I'll let you get dressed in peace." He smiled a little and looked down as he made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him.

I gratefully took a pair of Alice's panties and a bra and slipped them on, grateful to be about the same size as her. I slipped on a loose T-shirt and some shorts that probably exposed way too much skin, but hey, it's Alice. She doesn't exactly dress like a nun.

I took one good look at myself in the mirror, and suddenly, the weight of everything I been through in the past few hours came crashing over me. My reflection's eyes looked half-crazed. As if they told the story of their owner's rape. _My_ rape. My knees buckled and I couldn't gather up the strength to move anymore. I couldn't hardly breathe, my lungs were working overtime from the sobs that were raking through my body.

It took about seven seconds before I heard pounding feet up the staircase and Alice's door boomed open to reveal Edward. He strode into the room and knelt next to me. "Bella." His eyes were searching for mine, which were hidden beneath my wet hair. I was curled up into the fetal position, and Edward obviously had no clue what to do. He tried to touch my shoulder, but I cringed away from the slightest touch and moved myself back into the corner of the room.

"Bella, I won't hurt you. I would _never_ hurt you." His green eyes were blazing with a fiery passion, as if he _needed_ to impress that statement into my brain for me to never forget.

I was practically choking; I realized then that I was practically screaming each time I let a breath out, which probably didn't help Edward at all. I reached out feebly towards him and he hesitated no longer than a second before engulfing me into a vice grip.

I had never appreciated God more than I did in that moment. I used to think girls were luckier on the physical aspect. That girls were lucky to have smooth curves and soft skin, and I even wondered why God hadn't decided to make both men and women soft; I wondered why men got the better end of the stick because they got to be the protectors instead of the protected. But in the moment that Edward clung onto me as if letting me go meant letting go of sanity, I understood why God had made men and women the way He had. I could feel the hard planes of Edward's body close to mine and could feel every breath he inhaled and exhaled. I could feel the firm muscles underneath the skin of his arms and could feel the small stubbles peaking out from Edward's chin as they brushed my forehead.

He was my protector. My angel. Even if we never got back to the place we had once been, we were perfect for each other and I could recognize that. My body was weak and at this moment in my life, I allowed all my pride to leak away from my body and just allowed myself to _be_ in Edward's arms. I didn't need to worry about how this might seem to anyone looking in from the outside, I didn't need to worry about Charlie or Alice or any of the Cullens. I didn't even need to worry about Jacob.

He was the perfect opposite of me. He was tall and sturdy and strong and hard. I was small and feeble and weak and smooth, but we were perfect for each other, in a twisted way. It was like God designed me with him in mind, and visa versa for him. The crook of my neck was the perfect space for him to smother his face into. The spaces between my fingers were spaced evenly for his fingers to make a home for themselves. Our bodies were _made_ for the other. I just knew it. I thanked God silently as I controlled my sobbing and looked up at Edward through the blurs my crying had created.

His eyes were scared and concerned. He was scared for me and concerned for me. I buried my face into his chest and began crying again. He rocked his torso back and forth while I clung to the collar of his shirt. I wasn't crying out of spite or fear or anything else negative. I was crying tears of pure happiness. I had Edward back. Even though I _knew_ it wasn't in an actual relationship, I had him back to reclaim the spot of my best friend. My best friend was concerned for me and we were never going to go through anything like today again.

* * *

A little more than an hour later, the clock in the Cullen household chimed one o'clock in the morning which stirred me awake, even though it was only barely.

Edward was sitting against Alice's dresser and was still holding me in his lap and was stroking my hair and watching me through heavy eyelids.

"Have you been awake this whole time?" I whispered.

He nodded. "I'm not going to leave you, Bella. I'm gonna be here no matter what."

I quirked an eyebrow. "I never asked you to leave. Go to sleep and you can still be here. It's okay." His eyelids were beginning to droop and helped him along by pushing them both down simultaneously and watched his eyeballs roll around unconsciously under their lids and listened to his smooth and even breathing. I nuzzled my head back against his chest and breathed in deeply, wrapping my arms around his torso once again. I lulled myself to sleep thinking the line to a song I hadn't been able to get out of my head all day.

_Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_...

**A/N: I FORCED myself to finish this chapter. I'm REALLY sorry this took so long. The last update was ****3-17-09! That's INSANE, and I'm really sorry for the wait. That's really not fair to you guys. Yeah. So review this chapter and let me know what you think of it, and call me out about how long I was gone! I know how unfair that was to you guys! But I'm proud of this chapter, and I hope you guys haven't completely lost faith in me. :) PS. Check out the Glee Cast's version of Keep Holding On on youtube! It's seriously moving. I love that show. If you haven't checked it out, I suggest you do, NOW!!**


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